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Ah, Saturday. Such a lovely day. Sun shining. Birds chirping. The distant murmur of lawn equipment. The sweet smell of my breakfast egg skillet and coffee...

Grumblings: My College Football Saturday

by Kris Cardella (Contributor)

5

281 reads

Humor

November 16, 2008

Humor, College Football, ACC Football, Florida State Football

Ah, Saturday.

Such a lovely day.  Sun shining.  Birds chirping.  The distant murmur of lawn equipment. The sweet smell of my breakfast egg skillet and coffee.  Then, the most glorious part of any Saturday:

Football!!

Unfortunately, I had not bothered to check the college football lineup prior to plopping on the couch to catch the action.  Or maybe action is not the right word.  More like...

HUH?!?!

Don't get me wrong, there were some nail-biters.  Games that would leave even the most mild-mannered observer sweating in unheard-of places.  That's not what bothered me.

This is what bothered me:

 

1. FLORIDA STATE!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!

After slowly plunging into obscurity over the last 10 years, Bobby Bowden's Seminoles finally had me excited about a strong finish this season.  Maybe even a BCS berth?!

Christian Ponder will be good, I suppose. Until then, he makes my heart palpitate.  And not the ones that you get when you see your dream girl.

The ones that lead to pacemakers.

 

2. UF? More like F.U.!!

While I'm pulling my hair out, the Gators are pulling people out of the stands to make room for extra numbers on the scoreboards.

This is so cruel.  How could this day get any worse?!

Whoops.

 

3. Disappointment at a beverage-dispensing establishment.

My friend and I decided to watch the FSU-BC game at a sports bar.  My couch protested, and I tried to reason with her.  But she knew.

If only I had listened.

I pulled up to said establishment, and to my delight, the place is brimming with people! During my walk from the nearby grocery store parking lot, I think to myself, "This is why I came out tonight.  We get to cheer on our team with all of these other fans!"  You can imagine my glee.  Well, I was, in simple terms...

Wrong.

I walk in.  No garnet shirts.  No garnet and gold hats.  Not even a sock that had garnet bled onto it in the wash.  But the game was on.  "OK," I thought, "maybe this isn't the most festive crowd, but this place has never let me down before."

Thirty minutes and a two-for-one special later, ALL of the televisions switch to...

Ultimate fighting?

"Alright, this isn't so bad," I told myself.  "I can still watch my game."

Wrong again.

I had to ask the manager several times to turn the broom closet television from the ultimate fighting (a.k.a. Fierce Shirtless Hugging), back to the football game.

But it still wasn't the bar that got to me.  It was that all of these people, who I had assumed were about to accompany me on my 'Nole-cheering journey, did not care to see any football.  Am I losing touch here?

I think next Saturday I will stay faithful to my couch.

Author Poll

Where can I move to make sure I can catch college football on a Saturday night?

  • Somewhere in Ohio.
  • Anywhere in Texas.
  • Hawaii. The NFL starts Saturday night there.
vote to see results
Author Poll Results

Where can I move to make sure I can catch college football on a Saturday night?

  • Somewhere in Ohio.

    0.0%
  • Anywhere in Texas.

    66.7%
  • Hawaii. The NFL starts Saturday night there.

    33.3%
  • Total votes: 3
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comments (5) write a comment »

  1. That stinks. How could they not watch football on saturday?

    1. I know, right?!

  2. I went to the bar Saturday night to watch UFC, and the TV right in front of my table only showed the FSU game, because it was satellite and not cable, what a dirty trick!!

    The UFC fans outnumbered FSU fans about 100 to 1.

    1. Thanks for the read, Michael.

      However, you are a Gator fan, so I can't expect you to sympathize. Imagine, if you will, the same scenario except that it was a Florida game.

      Yeah. It's not about FSU, it could happen to any of us. I would expect a fellow football fan to understand.

    2. I can understand. If push came to shove, I'd want to watch the Gator game before UFC, but I just thought your article was funny.

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About the Author Kris Cardella (contributor)

  • 11 articles written
  • 84 comments posted
  • 5 fans

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