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Some of us just can’t do it. What I am referring to of course is growing the greatest facial hair of all-time! These players not only have the talent to be in the NBA but also the ...

All "Facial Hair" NBA Team

by Matt Schaefer (Scribe)

0

245 reads

Humor

November 16, 2008

Humor, NBA, Editorial

 

Some of us just can’t do it.  What I am referring to of course is growing the greatest facial hair of all-time!

 

These players not only have the talent to be in the NBA but also the facial hair that makes us wonder, why?  Some of these players will make us want to grow out the most hair we possibly can, others will have us reaching for a razor.

 

 

 

STARTING LINEUP

 

GUARD: Baron Davis

(2007-2008, Golden State Warriors)

 

Talk about growing a beard.  Davis apparently wasn’t told that only NHL players grow the playoff beard but hey it worked.  The No. 8 seed Warriors took down the top dogs in the Western Conference, the Dallas Mavericks.  It was the first time an upset of that magnitude took place in NBA history.   

 

His offense and play making ability will be welcomed on the squad.

 

 

 

GUARD: Walt Frazier (TEAM CAPTAIN)

(1970-1971 New York Knickerbockers) 

Frazier was one of the best defenders in the back court in NBA history.  Not only could he play a little “D” but he could also grow the facial hair.  

 

Bring that defense with you to help shut out some of the less hairy players.

 

 

 

FORWARD: Drew Gooden

(2007-2008 Chicago Bulls)

 

Gooden certainly hasn’t been a super star in his career, but he can contribute to a team.

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 He has been very consistent from year to year and also helped the Cavs two years ago make a long playoff run.  Now he is trying to do the same thing with the Bulls this season and he sure has the beard to get the job done.

 

He puts up decent offensive numbers to earn a starting spot on the squad

 

.

 

FORWARD: Pau Gasol

(2008-2009 Los Angels Lakers)

 

Well, Gasol doesn’t have the prettiest beard, but it is one that everyone knows around the league (for the better or the worse).  Gasol will help out on the offensive side of the ball in this team.  

 

His offense will be greatly appreciated.  No Kobe, no problem.  Davis can find him open and dish him the rock when he is open.

 

 

 

CENTER: Wilt Chamberlain

(1961-1962, Philadelphia Warriors)

 

This was one cool cat.  Not only did he have a pretty good beard but he played a pretty good game also.  It doesn’t hurt that Wilt is one of the best offensive players ever to play the game of basketball.

 

He will certainly bring some of that offense with him to the squad.  

 

 

 

BENCH

 

C: Yao Ming

(2007-2008 Houston Rockets)

 

Well he gets an “A” for effort.  Yao and teammate Adam Morrison on this squad must have shared some secrets with one another on how to grow “killer” facial hair.  Too bad they didn’t decide to use the razor.

 

 

 

G/F: Adam Morrison

(2006- 2007 Charlotte Bobcats)

 

Morrison is the poster boy of people who should just shave.  We all loved the kid through college and now the NBA but please, somebody tell that kid to get the caterpillar off of his upper lip.  For now though he can earn a spot on the squad.

 

 

 

C/F: Scot Pollard

(2007-2008 Boston Celtics)

 

Well in his 11 years in the league he hasn’t been known for his offense, or his defense for that matter but man can the guy grow some crazy facial hair.  He is very creative too and will bring the best out of his teammates (that is in the beard department).  

 

Not on the team because of his play, but his hair.

 

 

Let this dream team of manliness take on anyone.  Not only will they beat you on the court, but they will also beat you in something that you can't train to get better in—cool.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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