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In perhaps the most shocking move ever made under Chairman and CEO Brian France, NASCAR has decided to "give the fans everything they want...

NASCAR Finally Gives the Fans What They Want (Humor)

by Jonathan Lintner (Scribe)

9

473 reads

Humor

November 27, 2008

Humor, Motorsports, NASCAR

In perhaps the most shocking move ever made under Chairman and CEO Brian France, NASCAR has decided to "give the fans everything they want."

It started with NASCAR's fan-oriented campaign at the beginning of last season, and now continues in an all-out attempt to regain the dedicated following lost over the last 10 years.

France has planned a myriad of changes centered around the fans and their requests.

"We just sat down after the season and said, "Hey, what do these people really want? What brings them to races and keeps them tuned in on Sundays? Now they'll get that,'" France said in a press conference at Daytona Beach, FL yesterday.

In a statement released by Competition Director John Darby, new rules and regulations were rolled out for the 2009 season and beyond.

One of the most prominent changes announced revolves around the Free Pass (Lucky Dog) rule. The Free Pass will now be given to the most popular driver one or more laps down at the time of the caution. Instead of regaining one lap on the field, that driver will be positioned on the lead lap and given a new shot at the field.

"Look, we all know nobody wants to see the No. 88 running around a lap down, so instead of dropping a debris caution at a convenient time for those guys like we used to, we're just going to come right out and give the laps back at any caution," Darby said.

  • B/R Ticket Guide

If popular drivers such as Dale Earnhardt, Jr. or Jeff Gordon don't find themselves one or more laps down at the time of the caution, the Free Pass will be awarded to the team whose sponsor holds the most weight in the NASCAR garage.

Jack Roush's No. 6 car would be an example of a good candidate from last season if this rule were still in effect. David Ragan might have only had three hardcore fans all across the country (one being his brother, featured in 27 pre-race shows in 2008), but AAA and Roush had a high-stakes sponsorship worth lead-lap status.

Another big change is centered around the time of the caution flag, which will now only be thrown at a time deemed convenient for NASCAR to bunch the field, or if a vehicle is stalled on the racing surface.

No longer will scoring loops be used to determine the order of the field. Instead, after drives race back to the yellow flag, NASCAR will sort out the running order based on their own judgment.

"I just don't see a reason to bring the race under caution if what's going on out on the track is good stuff," Darby said. "I'd rather add an element of danger to the whole thing and give the people what they want: crashes."

Darby added that social status within the garage could make or break a team's position when the yellow flag is raised.

Chassis will also undergo change. Teams will now be allowed a wider range of changes to the cars so television commentators can wow fans with terminology of changes during practice and qualifying sessions.

"Just imagine the reaction to someone hearing that Chad Knaus changed the wedgebolt trackbar springy things after their last practice run on any of ESPN's great family of networks who give us lucrative TV deals. I don't even know what that means, and it still blows me away," France said.

Also, France added, race start times will be adjusted according to what the people really want.

"My Sunday church usually lets out at about 12:00 Eastern," France said. After that, I head off to an expensive brunch and get home at about 2:00."

"If the race starts at 2:15 pm, that gives me enough time to change clothes and find a spot on the couch to watch the beginning, fall asleep, then tune in for a green-white-checkered finish."

Section 12-4-A in the NASCAR rulebook will now officially read "actions detrimental to entertainment," a move that should have been made years ago.

NASCAR is expected to officially add these rules to the already extensive rulebook  after New Year's.

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comments (9) write a comment »

  1. Oh boy. A little too much freedom for NASCAR.

  2. Loved this one Jonathan - thanks for the chuckles!

    1. I tried. Could have done a little better, but it turned out ok. Thanks for the read!

  3. Great job Jonathan, this was hilarous.!

    1. Thanks for the read, Kara.

  4. Like this one, Jonathan. The scary thing is, can see NASCAR actually doing a couple of them.

    1. I agree, NASCAR culd be thinking about using a few of these! Nice one Jonathan!

    2. I think we all secretly know they would do these things at any given time if only they could get away with it. ;)

  5. Jonathan, this was absolutely hilarious! And you're right... NASCAR will (and has) do any of these rules as long as they think we don't know about it... even though we do... gotta love the France's!

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