The NFL's Christmas Wish List!

by thomas moreland (Analyst)

251 reads

Humor

November 28, 2008

Today's Must Reads

Picking the NFL Divisional Playoffs with Tecmo Super Bowl

Darren Sproles Debate: Does Size Matter in the NFL?

Who's More Important—The Closer or the Kicker?

Here is what players, coaches, teams, fans, and the league office have on their Christmas wish lists this holiday.

Brett Favre: One more Super Bowl win!

Raider fans: Al Davis to go completely senile and be put in a home for the aged!

Mike Singletary: A belt!

Brady Quinn and Tony Romo: A good finger doctor!

Seattle Seahawks: A magic anti-injury potion.

Green Bay Packers: Brett Favre

Dallas Cowboys: A playoff win.

Philadelphia Eagles: Just one good extra running back!

Fox Sports: A Manning vs. Manning Super Bowl.

The NFL League Office: A good Psychiatrist for its nutcase players.

Michael Vick and Joey Porter: Their own cage at the zoo.

Detroit Lions Fans: A new owner, players, and coach!

Detroit Lions: To wake up from this nightmare called the 2008 season.

Atlanta Falcons: Damn. Who unwrapped this present already? Rookie of the year!

New England Patriots: A promise from Matt Cassel to stick around, just in case Tom doesn't do that great.

Arizona Cardinals: Extra homes back east so they don't have to travel!

St. Louis Rams: A move back to Los Angeles.

Raider Fans: Their team to move to Los Angeles.

Los Angeles Football Fans: Anyone!

San Diego Chargers and Fans: Just once to play up to expectations.

Chicago Bears: A quarterback.

Tampa Bay Bucs: To play in February at home.

Tennessee Titans: At least a first round playoff win.

Washington Redskins: To finish ahead of Dallas.

Minnesota Vikings and Buffalo Bills: Just one Super Bowl victory!

Bill Cowher: A new house in Cleveland.

Romeo Crennel: A dependable moving company for all his stuff.

New Orleans: Mardi Gras to come early, since we're not making the playoffs.

Mike Holmgren: A new house in San Francisco.

Terrell Owens: To be included a lot in everything that happens in Dallas.

Chad Johnson: New parents with the last name Cinco.

And last but not least, Bill Belichick: A new video camera.

Happy Holidays from NFL Mikee.

• Move Up Move Down Move Box NFL Articles Top Rated Latest Most Comments Most Reads
• Is the A-11 Formation the Future of the National Football League?
• 2009 NFL Mock Draft Rounds 1-4: Underclassmen Dominate First Round
• Miami Dolphins Off-Season To Do List
• When Will They Ever Learn? Oft-Forgotten Facts About Brett Favre
• Top 10 NFL Wide Receivers
• The New York Giants: The Possibility Of Victory
• BRONCOS: LOOKING AHEAD TO 2009
• NFL Draft '09
• The third quarterback debate.
• "Pierre Thomas Moving Up and Reggie Bush Moving Down"
• A Plea to Brett Favre: Go Away
• A Steeler Fan's Faith: Believe in the Black and Gold
• NFL Wild-Card Round: Facebook News Feed
• Philadelphia Eagles: Is This OUR Year?
• Is Ed Reed the Best Player In the NFL?
• What Should the Raiders Do in the 2009 Draft?
• Free Agents the Oakland Raiders Need for 2009
• Darren McFadden Will Lead the AFC in Rushing and Nine Other Predictions for 2009
• Oakland Raiders: A Ray-Rey Of Hope For The Defense!
• Oakland Raiders Considering a Color Change, Al Davis Wants To Lose the Black

---

• Go to the NFL Page »

• Move Up Move Down Move Box Humor Articles Top Rated Latest Most Comments Most Reads
• What's in a Name? Will The Real Milton Bradley Please Stand Up
• BCS Listened, America: New Formula to Be Used Beginning Next Year (Humor)
• Georgia Football Now Has An Official Curse
• NHL: My Pet Peeves and Minor Annoyances
• NFL Predictions: Stars Align for 2000 & 9
• The New York Giants: The Possibility Of Victory
• Rob Ron Dennis Of McLaren-Mercedes Contest For Formula One Fans
• The Worst NBA Nicknames of All-Time
• Urban Meyer's Swamp Sinks Sooners And Haters
• An Unbiased College Football Fan's Take on The National Championship Game
• I Know You Love Your Team, But Shut Up Already
• NFL Wild-Card Round: Facebook News Feed
• Oakland Raiders Considering a Color Change, Al Davis Wants To Lose the Black
• BCS for College Hoops? Let the Madness Begin
• Why Are the San Diego Chargers Gaining So Many Haters?
• Bedazzled: Longhorns Hoist Third Grader's Handmade Trophy with Fiesta Bowl Win
• Oakland Raiders Considering a Color Change, Al Davis Wants To Lose the Black
• BCS for College Hoops? Let the Madness Begin
• Why Are the San Diego Chargers Gaining So Many Haters?
• Roger Goodell Offers Discounted Rates to Oakland Raiders on 2009 Free Agents

---

• Go to the Humor Page »

comments (20) write a comment »

1. reply to comment by Mike
   about 1 month ago

   very entertaining mike, i enjoyed the Bill Billichick bit the most, one you forgot was Jeff Fisher, he needs superglue or stick-um so that next time he tries to toss the challenge flag in a blow out it gets stuck to his fingers

   1. by thomas
      from about 1 month ago

      yeah i didn t see the end of that game. so that one slipped by me lol thanks for the read glad you liked it! thomas

2. reply to comment by John
   about 1 month ago

   very funny and entertaining nice job Mike I had a few chuckles especailly about Coach Singletary

   1. by thomas
      from about 1 month ago

      thanks john all off the top of my head! i tried to remember everyone! thanks for the read and the compliment, it s been a memorable season so far! thomas nfl mikee moreland

3. reply to comment by thomas
   about 1 month ago

   thank you! all off the top of my head i tried to remember
   everyone. thanks for the read, and the compliment! it s been a memorable season so far! lol thomas
4. reply to comment by James
   about 1 month ago

   The Bears have a very good quarterback in Kyle Orton.

   1. by thomas
      from about 1 month ago

      good, ok, adequate,, but not very good! 1st round of play offs gone if they can make it there! sorry to be brutally honest! thomas

5. reply to comment by James
   about 1 month ago

   Don't forget Donovan McNabb. To remember all the rules.

   1. by thomas
      from about 1 month ago

      a simon says memory game perhaps!!! lol thomas

6. reply to comment by Mitch at cfbplace.com
   about 1 month ago

   Nice 1...

   any chance we get a warm weather home playoff game here in Chicago? :)

   1. by thomas
      from about 1 month ago

      your assuming the bears make the playoffs? it might br tough! they must beat New Orleans and Green Bay. The Packers might make a late run at them. Packers at home this week against Carolins makes or breaks their season. MInnesota gonna get a couiple more losses maybe 3. But if they beat Chicago its gonna get real interesting!!! After Carolina it gets easier for the Packers. They beat the bears 38-3. You would think they can beat them again! we shall see on sunday what s possible! thomas

   2. by Mitch at cfbplace.com
      from about 1 month ago

      The wish is for the warm weather and for the playoff game...lol, the playoffs are hardly a given when it's amateur hour at QB but the BEar defense is growling again.

7. reply to comment by Jesse
   about 1 month ago

   Haha thats really good. I like the Michael Vick and Joey Porter one. Great Job.

   1. by thomas
      from about 1 month ago

      thanks jesee! thanks for the read and compliment. those are like xmas presents to me! thomas

8. reply to comment by Paul
   about 1 month ago

   Bellicheck was perfect, haha

   1. by thomas
      from about 1 month ago

      thanks i knew you d like the belicek one! thomas

9. reply to comment by Jarrod
   about 1 month ago

   Maybe Vick could be a secret santa and give Porter one of his muzzles.

   1. by thomas
      from about 1 month ago

      lol good one jarrod! thomas happy holidays

10. reply to comment by Kristin
    about 1 month ago

    funny articel thomas :) Loved the brett favre one cause I think a lot of us are rooting for him this year :) Thanks for sharing

    1. by thomas
       from about 1 month ago

       thanks for the pick! Yup green bays wish too , not for brett to win a super bowl to have him back! lol

About the Author thomas moreland (analyst)

• 93 articles written
• 746 comments posted
• 21 fans

The Latest from Our Friends at College Humor

Want to write for Bleacher Report

We are a community of fans who write about sports. And we're growing.

Learn More and Sign Up »