Tony said Brian Urlacher could never play for the Colts.
"Any heathen who trained his son to be a transvestite" said Dungy, "has a moral degeneracy impossible to reconcile with God."
He was referring to recent allegations that Urlacher dressed his three-year-old son in pink Cinderella diapers and painting his nails, by Tyna Robertson. Allegations he confirmed while complaining about Tyna Robertson, mother of his son but not his wife nor mother of his daughters.
- B/R Ticket Guide
"Mr. Urlacher's questionable sexual activities are forgivable in this vale of sin. When turns on the TV and sees people sleeping with people who aren't their spouses one can say Mr. Urlacher's lack of discretion is the product of the sick society we are in," Said Coach Dungy.
"That said, his making the boy homosexual is unforgivable. Mr. Urlacher can never be a member of a team I am involved with," said Coach Tony Dungy.
Brain Urlacher replied, "Is there trade talk I'm not aware of? Tony, I'm sure you have an opinion on things not your concern, like the T.O. Monday Night Football thing. Maybe, just maybe, you should not involve yourself with other teams."
Coach Lovie Smith echoed Brian Urlacher and added, "When Brian's contract is up we'll sign him to play linebacker, not day care provider."
This is satire. Mr. Urlacher's custody battle is real. Saint Dungy's quotes are not.
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about 1 month ago
I like your article (all kidding aside). It's actually funny.
Although, you would have been my personal hero if you had placed it somewhere other than the humor section and actually had the stones to ruffle a few feathers and cause some real confusion and controversy (I teach anarchy lessons ...if you're interested).
Next time don't take the conventional approach (that's the difference between mediocrity ...and genius).
Good job anyway (I'm not trying to "sound" condescending, ...I swear).
P.S. If Urlacher comes to your house ...you can tell him I've got your back (I hear that he fears me).
from about 1 month ago
I believe if it is funny then "humor" is the right section. (Odd, some "humor" articles I don't find funny, but that may be me. I digress though.)
about 1 month ago
I can't believe this. How would Dungy like it if someone called his parenting into question because his own son committed suicide? What a hypocrite. Unbelievable that another team's coach would point fingers and stick his nose in, and then banish Urlacher from playing for Indy as if he was banging down their door and begging him for a contract. From the way the Colts defend the run, I'd be put Michael Jackson in at linebacker if I thought he could stop someone. The whole idea would be laughable if it wasn't for the fact that it's true. When did this guy develop a big media mouthpiece? I mean whatever happened to "QUIET Strength"? We liked you better the way you were: an impotent wuss of a head coach, but a quiet one.
about 1 month ago
Well, I guess I kind of apologize.
It seems like your article works just fine in the humor section after all. I guess you can find some dummy to overreact no matter where you post (is that last comment a put on, ...or is he serious?).
Your article is STILL funny, ...but his response might actually be funnier.
about 1 month ago
Oh I gotcha. I didn't read your disclaimer at the end. Feel free to have a laugh at my expense, my eyes are apparently not as sharp as they used to be. You'll have to forgive me for overreacting, but this really wouldn't surprise me in the least if it were true, what with Dungy being such a unrepentant homophobe. I don't understand how he can get fired up because gay people exist but he can't get up when the Colts play like garbage. Anyways, funny article. Next time I'll have to read more carefully.
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