Darren McCollester/Getty ImagesOctober 12, 2011
Theo Epstein is now the General Manager of the Chicago Cubs.
There are not too many stories in baseball that can trump the ongoing postseason, but Theo moving from one cursed franchise to another one will do the trick.
Twitter users have responded to the news by imagining what Epstein's first day on the job might be like.
The result is the hashtag #TheoDayOne. It has spawned some extremely creative and hilarious tweets, all describing fictitious quotes that Epstein might utter upon starting work on the North Side.
Tweets have ranged from bagging on the culture and history of Boston and Chicago to ripping on the Cubs current roster of overpaid under-achievers.
Here is a collection of some of the best tweets so far:
1) jasoncollette: "What the hell is a pop? I asked for a soda" e AND : "Man, it is so nice to hear the letter R again"
2) : "So I'm supposed to go to the Wiener's Circle and ask for a chocolate milkshake. Thanks for the tip, you're so friendly!"
3) : "Do they drive any better here? "
4) : "I can't tell if you're angry, skeptical, or understanding, Mr. Quade. Whatever the case, your services are no longer required." "
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5) : "Thanks for coming, everyone. I'd like to introduce our new special assistant to the President/GM: Eddie Vedder." "
6) : "Wait, so people drink Old Style unironically?
7) : "The f**k is Ditka doing in my chair?"
8) : "So even when we lose, we're still at least lovable? I love this job!" AND : "So wait, we're paying him HOW much? AND we can't trade him?"
9) (yours truly): "What do you mean I can't have ketchup on my hot dog?"
10) : "I'm just gonna say 'hold the hot peppers' on everything for a while, OK? I'll have an ice water, hold the hot peppers."
11) : "To be honest, I just took the job because if I heard 'Sweet Caroline' one more time, I was going to blow my brains out'"
12) : What do you mean I can't pawk da caw in the middle of the street?
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13) : "So it's agreed? All in game alcohol consumption will be confined to the broadcast booth?"
14) : "Intern, I need an Italian Beef sandwich from Mr Beef on my desk within the hour."
15) : Manny Rameriz doesn't play for us, right? Phew, good.
16) : Hold on a minute... I wouldn't have agreed to do this if I knew the Astros were moving to the AL.
17) : When we blow a game and playoff series by making errors and hanging curves, people will blame a fan? Awesome!
18) : "Yankees fans I get. Shouldn't these White Sox fans be focused on their own messes?"
19) : "Soriano has HOW MANY years left?"
20) : "Who's business card is this? A douchebag blogger who sits in left field? I'm not taking that interview!"
21) : "This won't be as easy without steroids..."
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images
22) : Hey, hah, this is kind of embarrassing, but this is really just a practical joke that got waaaay out of hand. sorry guys"
23) : "I don't care that Mark Grace had the most hits in the 1990s."
24) : Close play. Let me get a look at it again on the replay scoreboard. Wait, what?
25) : "So, we blame a fan and a goat for not winning the world series? Isn't there a first baseman or manager who we can blame?"
I highly recommend joining in on the fun, or reading more at #TheoDayOne. It's a pretty fun way to goof off at work.