Theo Epstein: Twitter Explodes in Hilarity Imagining #TheoDayOne

John GreggContributor IIIOctober 12, 2011

BOSTON - NOVEMBER 2:  Theo Epstein speaks to the press about his resignation as the general manager of the Boston Red Sox November 2, 2005 at Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts. Epstein resigned on October 31 nearly a year after the franchise won its first World Series championship since 1918.  (Photo by Darren McCollester/Getty Images)
Darren McCollester/Getty Images

Theo Epstein is now the General Manager of the Chicago Cubs

There are not too many stories in baseball that can trump the ongoing postseason, but Theo moving from one cursed franchise to another one will do the trick.

Twitter users have responded to the news by imagining what Epstein's first day on the job might be like.

The result is the hashtag #TheoDayOne. It has spawned some extremely creative and hilarious tweets, all describing fictitious quotes that Epstein might utter upon starting work on the North Side.

Tweets have ranged from bagging on the culture and history of Boston and Chicago to ripping on the Cubs current roster of overpaid under-achievers.

Here is a collection of some of the best tweets so far:

1) jasoncollette: "What the hell is a pop? I asked for a soda" e AND  :  "Man, it is so nice to hear the letter R again" 

2) : "So I'm supposed to go to the Wiener's Circle and ask for a chocolate milkshake. Thanks for the tip, you're so friendly!" 

3) : "Do they drive any better here? "

4) : "I can't tell if you're angry, skeptical, or understanding, Mr. Quade. Whatever the case, your services are no longer required." "

CHICAGO - AUGUST 03:  Kerry Wood #34 of the Chicago Cubs gives the ball to singer Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam after Vedder threw out a ceremonial first pitch before a game between the Cubs and the New York Mets on August 3, 2007 at Wrigley Field in Chicago,
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

5) "Thanks for coming, everyone. I'd like to introduce our new special assistant to the President/GM: Eddie Vedder." "

6) : "Wait, so people drink Old Style unironically? 

7)  : "The f**k is Ditka doing in my chair?" 

8) "So even when we lose, we're still at least lovable? I love this job!"  AND : "So wait, we're paying him HOW much? AND we can't trade him?" 

9)  (yours truly): "What do you mean I can't have ketchup on my hot dog?" 

10) "I'm just gonna say 'hold the hot peppers' on everything for a while, OK? I'll have an ice water, hold the hot peppers." 

11) "To be honest, I just took the job because if I heard 'Sweet Caroline' one more time, I was going to blow my brains out'" 

12) What do you mean I can't pawk da caw in the middle of the street? 


SEATTLE - JULY 03:  Chris Egan of Seattle's King 5 news station participates in a hot dog eating contest prior to the game between the Seattle Mariners and the San Diego Padres at Safeco Field on July 3, 2011 in Seattle, Washington. Egan did not win the c
Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images

13) "So it's agreed? All in game alcohol consumption will be confined to the broadcast booth?" 

14) "Intern, I need an Italian Beef sandwich from Mr Beef on my desk within the hour." 

15) Manny Rameriz doesn't play for us, right? Phew, good. 

16) Hold on a minute... I wouldn't have agreed to do this if I knew the Astros were moving to the AL. 

17)  When we blow a game and playoff series by making errors and hanging curves, people will blame a fan? Awesome! 

18) :   "Yankees fans I get. Shouldn't these White Sox fans be focused on their own messes?" 

19) "Soriano has HOW MANY years left?" 

20) "Who's business card is this? A douchebag blogger who sits in left field? I'm not taking that interview!" 

21) "This won't be as easy without steroids..." 

9 May 1998:  Infielder Mark Grace of the Chicago Cubs in action during a game against the San Francisco Giants at Wrigley Field in Chicago, Illinois. The Giants defeated the Cubs 5-1. Mandatory Credit: Jonathan Daniel  /Allsport
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

22) Hey, hah, this is kind of embarrassing, but this is really just a practical joke that got waaaay out of hand. sorry guys" 

23) "I don't care that Mark Grace had the most hits in the 1990s." 

24) Close play. Let me get a look at it again on the replay scoreboard. Wait, what?

25) "So, we blame a fan and a goat for not winning the world series? Isn't there a first baseman or manager who we can blame?" 

I highly recommend joining in on the fun, or reading more at #TheoDayOne. It's a pretty fun way to goof off at work.


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