Detroit Lions Uniforms: Team Needs to Sport "Evil" Throwbacks

Ryan CampbellContributor IIINovember 1, 2011

DETROIT - NOVEMBER 25:  Ndamukong Suh #90 of the Detroit Lions celebrates a first quarter sack next to Kyle Vanden Bosch #93 while playing the New England Patriots on November 25, 2010 at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan.  (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

Following the annihilation of the collegiate powerhouse Denver Broncos (They're a college team right?  Tebow surely wouldn't start in the NFL.) this past Sunday, it seems obvious to me that the Lions are definitely headed to their first postseason birth since 1999.  These Lions shall will themselves to a wild-card birth. This 2011 squad, quite simply, is not the 2007 roster. So with the playoffs now guaranteed, let's turn our attention to one of the bigger factors in deciding the outcomes of NFL games: uniforms.

The Lions are downright scary when they don their alternate Thanksgiving Day apparel.  Heck, you might even call them "evil."  Have you seen how intimidating Ndamokung Suh looks in that thing?!  How about Vanden Bosch, red eyes glowing on opposing quarterbacks like a gunmen's ACOG (Advanced Combat Optical Gunsights) on its target. 

The alternate uniform is needed for the Lions to live up to their stereotype of a nasty, emotionally and physically imposing team.  Experts and league officials alike are making these claims about the 2011 Detroit team as if they expect the Lions to be, what?  Offended?

A friend of mine texted me following the Lions pounding of Denver Sunday with the query "people are getting off your bandwagon already because of your arrogant players, can't catch a break in Detroit can you?"  To put into summation the novel of the reply I gave him: I want no fans jumping on Detroit's bandwagon, I want the entire league and its fans to hate my Lions, pray for our demise even (is it taking it too far to suggest Tebow lead the prayers?); then I want Detroit to go kick their asses anyway!

Hence, my suggestion for the Lions attire the duration of the season being the terrorizing throwbacks.  The uniforms scream "swagger."  They're Detroit's own personal memo to Roger Goodell that professional football in the NFL used to be about playing bludgeoning, bloody defense and yes, hitting your opponent so hard they loathed having to face you.

Are the Detroit Lions that evil of a team?  No, truly they aren't.  It's just all the changes to the "No Fun League" over the years make the aggressive and slightly cockstrong Lions easy for the media to frown upon.  The reality is any team in the NFL would kill to have a stalwart like Suh on their team, regardless of what the opine of him after facing Detroit.

If the Detroit Lions are to be painted the villian, they should be painted in darker blue jerseys, with piercing silver numbers.  Fear them, bash them in the papers and the websites, call them evil, brash and sophomoric; but know that they're coming for blood.  They're coming to win.  They are an ode to bullish defenses of years past.  Dress them in their throwbacks, that's exactly what they are.