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  • Terry Carroll posted 1825 days ago

    Terry Carroll

    I just thought I'd check you out again Ashish and your Sepp Blatter article sums up your problem.
    Such a pity to put so much in and get only 249 reads, but this is the reason why:

    "On the seventh day, the Lord finally took a break from his tireless schedule (of creating heaven and earth and all things between) in order to relieve a rather tricky case of constipation. And thus came to pass the creation of the racist, misogynist, xenophobic ignoramus we know as Sepp Blatter."

    Together with your title, which is a mess, your first paragraph is what grabs the potential reader.

    I started to read the para and thought oh...my...god...

    Have a look at the Bleacher guidelines and you will see the title should be succinct and include at least a couple of things the Google spiders are looking for (nobody is looking for Sepp Blatter except the fraud squad)

    And the first para as well as the same characteristics has to set out what the article is about and grab the readers attention.

    Hope that helps.

  • Josh Matt posted 1889 days ago

    Josh Matt

    care for a fan add?

  • Terry Carroll posted 2104 days ago

    Terry Carroll

    BTW did you read my latest SAF article yet?

  • Terry Carroll posted 2104 days ago

    Terry Carroll

    Thanks Ashish. You right clever prose, with loads of similes, but you have to decide are you Shakespeare, writing a PhD thesis, or for readers who are 'time poor'.

    You have to grab your reader and then get them skipping through your lines.

    It's like when I go to a Shakespeare play I get hung on the beuty of the prose and before you know where you are, you've lost the plot.

    Many readers are on their mobile, grabbing a few rushes in a break or on the train or whatever.

    I admit my articles are occasionally lengthy but I think they're easy to read quickly.

    Good luck


  • Terry Carroll posted 2107 days ago

    Terry Carroll

    Hi Ashish. Thanks for your kind note and generous comments.
    You asked for some suggestions and I'm going to be as constructive as I can.
    You can certainly write and, as others have said, have a nice turn of wit.
    But here's the thing...I started reading your article on Barcelona and gave up, because I got bogged down.
    IMHO you're trying too hard to impress. The article is very wordy...a bit like wading through porridge.
    The feedback I have had for a few years now, is that what I write is pithy, straight to the point and 'seems to speak to me off the page'
    In truth, I follow some rules and break others.
    I went on a business writing course 30 years ago and the core message was:
    shorter words, shorter sentences, shorter paragraphs...
    However, I often start a sentence with But or And (which I was told never to do as school). I also use a conversational style as if I'm talking to you in the pub. If you think about it, you wouldn't talk to a mate like you write...
    I occasionally use the forbidden words I and me, (again you're not supposed to), because these articles are all about opinion.
    You have to be thick-skinned to write on places like this, because some people will be very direct with their feedback. However, I am never abusive, offensive or obscene and I expect the same from others. If they do that to me, I am very direct in my response, because they're usually just opinionated bullies hiding behind the anonymity of the internet.
    I typicall write 3/4 articles a week. One of them is an assignment from a Bleacher editor and I have never turned one down, even though some have been difficult.
    I believe you'll always find my articles impeccably researched. Again, if people post subject opinion that is rubbish, I challenge them directly to back it up with facts. For example, I stood my ground on the Suarez affair through thick and thin, both articles and posts, despite some heavy attacks, because I rely on my personal values a lot. As it turns out, my view was widely supported, but even now no Liverpool supporter is going to agree that Dalglish got it wrong and badly damaged the Liverpool brand.
    Finally, as to how I choose my articles, I immerse myself in my subject, watching MUTV, every Man United match, Google their news every day, etc, With United and general articles, I rely on my unconscious to suggest a title to me.
    Thanks again Ashish. I hope the feedback was helpful? Please let me know.
    Best wishes

  • Dan Patterson posted 2216 days ago

    Dan Patterson

    Already had one great piece of feedback for your Carroll song.

  • Dan Patterson posted 2274 days ago

    Dan Patterson

    You bell-end!! Your articles are crap and so is your team :D

  • Rick Seto posted 2324 days ago

    Rick Seto

    Ashish: D'oh! I looked up Hindenburg on Wikipedia too -- must have just blanked. Good catch.

    As far as universe, it actually should be lower case. Bleacher Report, like most major media sites, uses the Associated Press stylebook when there is no specific entry in the B/R style guide. As you can imagine, an author could probably easily find a website to justify their interpretation of language; that's why each publication has its own style or uses AP style, so there is some consistency, no matter who is writing. There is no public version of the 2011 AP Stylebook online, but I can tell you the heavenly bodies entry is on Page 129.

    You reserve every right to revert back to your original headline. I will say as a soccer fan, I found it misleading, thinking it'd be a reasonable attempt to get into Capello's head -- especially since I was watching the Wales match while editing it. Like I said, there's nothing wrong with a light-hearted approach, but I think a headline that more accurately reflects that is better than a semi-serious one.

  • Andre Edgar posted 2335 days ago

    Andre Edgar

    Keep writing. Your a breath of fresh air. A wizard with words and you've definitely got the necessary knowledge and insight to write world class articles. I love the wit and sarcasm you add to your articles.

  • Jimmi Carney posted 2391 days ago

    Jimmi Carney

    So i'm finally getting around to responding to your post on Cruyff from some time ago..yes, you make a good point int that total football was really Rinus Michael's baby, at least from a tactical point of view. But Cruyff would become its consumate incarnation and evangelist. While Michael's had the spreadsheet in the locker room and at the touchline, it was cruyff orchestrating everything on the pitch.
    Of course, it's totally debatable who was more important. For me (and the fact that I'm not editing the list :), it remains cruyff. good point tho