If I was the coach of one of the original six, I'd put Jesus in nets. He saves. And that's just what Montreal Canadiens coach Guy Carbonneau did. So why ladies and gents are we so up in arms about his decision to keep rookie goalie Carey Price in nets for the majority of the playoffs? Because like every Bostonian who lost their shit when the Patriots failed to go 19-0, Montrealers need to lay blame. When things are going well with our beloved Habs we sing their praises but when they can't outshine the Illadelphia Flyers we lay the hate on thick.
When you live in Montreal, unless you live in a box under the Champlain Bridge you can name the entire Canadiens roster starting from 1909. You're supposed to shudder when someone mentions "Le Trade", you have to riot when they win (and when they lose) and you cannot under any circumstances talk to someone wearing a Maple Leafs jersey. There are rules Habs fans must abide by. But the most important one of all is, when the season is over instead of being proud of your team you must dissect and criticize every move and trade until the entire population of Quebec is blue in the face. Why? Because the Montreal Canadiens are the most successful franchise in the history of the NHL with twenty-four Stanley Cup wins. Unfortunately, we haven’t won one in ages. The Habs are the New York Yankees of hockey. Or the Boston Celtics of hockey. Whichever you prefer.
It’s been a week since Marty the Bironator, Danny “looks like a raccoon” Briere and RJ Hamburger handed Montreal their asses on the silver platter. Time to move on, count our losses are look ahead to next season. For once instead of harboring on the negative let’s look at the positive:
-The Canadiens weren’t supposed to even make it to the playoffs. Not only did they make it to the playoffs, they clinched the Eastern conference title. Suck on that Toronto!
-Sure there were some sloppy moments in the playoffs but you have to learn to lose in order to win. Most of the Habs are young but they’re maturing right before our eyes. With the exception of paper airplane aficionado Michael Ryder most of these guys grew up during the series with the Flyers. Figured out their weaknesses, learned their strengths and know what the deal is for next year. Nothing will make you man overnight than having to grow a playoff beard while trying to score on a goaltender (The Bironator) who all of a sudden decided to stop all your shots. Remember Martin Biron before the playoffs? Nobody does because he wasn’t that good. Again, suck on that Toronto!
-The Canadiens future is looking pretty solid with rookie goalie Carey Price. Besides the fact that this kid will one day cook up Ken Dryden numbers he has the best name in hockey since another Canadiens great Patrick “St. Patrick” Roy. Carey Price, perfect for cutesy nicknames, play on words, alluding metaphors and similes galore: The Price is Right, Jesus Price our Goalie and Savior, Roll of the Price, Care Bear Price, Carey on wayward Goalie, Price gets Carey’d away etc. all work well. For journalists, reporters and commentators this is what’s called “having a field day”. Also, suck on that Toronto!
Grab a Molson, flip on CBC and relax. Watch the battle of Pennsylvaniaunfold as Sid the Kid and Maid Marion try to slip a few past The Bironator. Enjoy your leisure time now dear Habs fans because next year the Montreal Canadiens are going to win the Stanley Cup.*
*Suck on that Toronto!
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