Did you hear the one about the ballplayer who got hurt while dreaming about spiders?
But wait, there's no punchline here, for this is a true story!
Reading this morning about the Detroit Tigers Brandon Inge's freak pillow injury motivated me to research the topic of slightly crazy, bizarre, freakish kinds of sports injuries. Some of these you likely have heard about before, but they're still funny enough to bring up again. Nothing gruesome—no falling off motorcycles—just the type of injury where you say to yourself, "well now I've heard it all."
So, in reverse order, I present to you:
MOST BIZARRE SPORTS INJURIES
5. The Sneeze
In 2004, Sammy Sosa sneezed violently, bringing on back spasms that placed the Cubbie slugger on the DL. Hey, it's nothing to sneeze at, really.
4. Isn't this supposed to be a protective piece of equipment?
Ken Griffey, Jr. has had a lot of injuries in his career, but none stranger than this one. Griff once missed a game after his protective cup slipped and pinched one of his testicles. Going 'balls out' will never have the same meaning again!
3. Penalty for excessive celebration
Kicker Bill Gramatica celebrated a 42 yard field goal by jumping up and when he came down, tearing his ACL, missing the rest of the season. Bet he got a kick out of that one.
2. That's using your head
In 1997, Quarterback Gus Frerotte decided to bang his head into the wall behind the end zone after a TD. He missed the rest of a key game with neck pains. Wonder if he was still wearing his helmet?
1. I don't like spiders and snakes
Glenallen Hill, who was named in conjunction with the Mitchell report as a former steroid abuser, once suffered cuts, scrapes and bruises while sleepwalking during a nightmare about spiders! No word on the condition of the spiders.
Oh, and back to the Inge story in case you hadn't heard. Apparently Brandon Inge was trying to push a pillow behind his son's head (his son sleeps with Brandon and his wife every night), resulting in an injury to his oblique muscle. Inge is 5 feet, eleven inches and close to 200 pounds, but he was apparently no match for that pillow.
While researching this topic, I ran across these additional, funny-but-true injuries:
HONORABLE MENTION
Marty Cordova of the Twins once missed part of the 2002 season when he got burned in a tanning salon.
Steve Trout once missed a start after he fell off his bicycle.
David Wells tripped over a bar stool in his kitchen, knocking a bottle of wine to the floor, where he landed on the bottle and promptly severed a tendon in his wrist, requiring surgery.
Kevin Mitchell chipped a tooth biting into a stale doughnut.
Pitcher Adam Eaton stabbed himself while opening a DVD in 2001.
Vince Coleman missed the 1985 World Series after getting caught in the tarp machine.
Wade Boggs missed games after hurting himself putting on his cowboy boots.
Joel Zumaya strained his arm playing "Guitar Hero" on the PS2.
John Smoltz burned himself while ironing a shirt...he was wearing!
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3 months ago
If anyone has any more to add, please let me know.
3 months ago
david wells was def drunk
3 months ago
Mike Tyson bitting off Holyfield's ear!
from 3 months ago
Yeah, I didn't think of that one. Good one.
3 months ago
Didn't a NHL player get the puck in the nuts this year?
from 3 months ago
Patrick Thorsesen. He was ok but he said his groin was "sore and swollen" which made me cringe.
3 months ago
BTW, I'm sure someone is going to mention that goalie who nearly had his neck cut off - I think it was his cartoid artery slashed - but I didn't include it since it was more gruesome than funny. Likewise, I once saw the White Sox Robin Ventura's bone sticking out of leg on a slide to home plate and it wasn't anything I'd like to see again.
3 months ago
Bob, amazing topic and this was a lot of fun to read and remember. The Griffey injury hurts just reading about it!
from 3 months ago
I know what you mean...OUCH!
3 months ago
If alleged injuries count, Brandon Marshall slips on a McDonalds bag and punches through his own television.
from 3 months ago
You know, I heard about this one but didn't include it because I wasn't sure who Marshall was. But anyone who slips on a McDonald's bag has it coming...that's why they say fast food is no good, right?
3 months ago
I wrote an article like this a while back.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/11489-weird-wild-and-wacky-baseball-injuries
from 3 months ago
Oh geez, I swear I never saw it. Well, at least many of our stories are different. Even ones that include the same player have different wacky injuries so that's good. Great minds think alike they say...thanks for the "telepathic" inspiration Andrew.
from 3 months ago
Lol, I'm not accusing you of anything. I enjoyed reading your article. Great work!
from 3 months ago
No I insist I pay you for it. Would one million dollars cover it Andrew? :)
from 3 months ago
I'll take $10 and a Twins ticket. That will keep me busy for the day.
from 3 months ago
Could you imagine how many Twins tickets a million would buy Andrew, take Door #1.
3 months ago
how about way back when (dont remember when or who), a football player was out for the coin toss and afterwards attempted to turn around but had his cleat stuck in the mud. blew his knee out and abruptly ended his career...
from 3 months ago
Not sure about this one...but I'm sure you're right. Tough way to get hurt, on the coin toss...
3 months ago
Joe Oliver (catcher for the 1990 World Series Champion Cincinnati Reds) went on the 15 day DL after cutting his hand emptying the dish-washer.
from 3 months ago
Wow, that's one I never heard. Shows you why men shouldn't do household chores.
3 months ago
Ricky Bones of the Brewers hurt his back getting out of a chair at home. Clint Barmes of the Rockies fell down stairs carrying deer meat giving to him by Todd Helton. There's numerous others, but those two make me laugh.
from 3 months ago
Good ones Adam. As I get older I can understand how easy it is to pull a muscle but these are supposed to be world class atheletes!
3 months ago
I remember some years ago....... a player injured his groin and missed half a season. He was with his wife.
from 3 months ago
Maybe that's why they always tell you no sex before the game....
3 months ago
I believe John Madden once broke his nose when Brett Favre sat down unexpectedly. (I kid!)
Very interesting article, Bob. And don't listen to Andrew. He's written about everything. (I kid some more!) :D
from 3 months ago
It's just like that South Park episode.
"Andrew did it!"
from 3 months ago
Well, he's one of the kings that's for sure (Andrew). I'm coming up on 100 articles and I know how much work that is and he's above that mark, so I hail to the king!
I lmao at your comment on Madden. Yeah, his nose is so far up Farve's ass....
3 months ago
A player went on MLB's DL with a 'sun burn'. For athletes who play outdoors, that is the most hilarious, oxy-moronic injury of all!
3 months ago
what about Brian Greise tripping over his Golden Retriever in his home.
3 months ago
Not a very well known guy, but Chris Hanson, punter for the Patriots, was on the Jaguars in 2003, when coach Jack Del Rio put a piece of wood and an ax in the middle of the locker room. The message was supposed to be to keep chopping away, or something like that. Hanson was one of the Jaguars who picked up the ax to take a swing at the wood. He then missed the wood entirely driving the ax into his non kicking leg. But he is still in the league, and a punter, so its not that bad haha.
3 months ago
Bill Grammatica's is by far my favorite. What makes that injury even more ridiculous was that the field goal came in the first quarter, and made the score 7-3. Truly stupendous.
3 months ago
One from the last couple days: Brandon Inge strained his oblique trying to place a pillow under his son's head.
from 3 months ago
Right, as I wrote in the article, that is the story that sparked me to write this article.
3 months ago
ryan klesko hurt his back lifting his lunch tray
3 months ago
How about Clint Barmes of the Rockies last year missing the entire year after breaking his collar bone carrying groceries up his downtown condo in Denver?
from 3 months ago
After reading this article that was the first one I thought of Tyler! Len and Bob make fun of him everytime the Cubs play the Rockies.
3 months ago
When Kevin Brown was on the Padres, he once punched a urinal and bruised his hand after a bad outing. He missed his next start.
Also, I can't remember exactly who did this, it may have been Shawn Estes, but someone blew out their back I believe taking some watermelons out to the trash can.
from 3 months ago
Kevin Brown also punched the wall of the Yankees clubhouse after a bad start and broke his hand. He's too one-dimensional...
3 months ago
Some arena football player spiked the ball which rebounded into his testicles. The guy was in pain but played the rest of the game.
3 months ago
great list of injuries, there's more at this link below
http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Park/1138/strangeinjuries.html
Bob Howry of the Cubs fell down moving a barbecue grill, missed some time; Kerry Wood, also of the Cubs, took a spill in his hot tub, and was behind spring schedule as a result. (2007)
from 3 months ago
Why does it not surprise me that Cubs have been involved in strange injuries?
3 months ago
I have another one for you... not sure if anyone else mentioned it, but Clint Barmes also got hurt trying to carry groceries into his home. I believe that's what it was... either way, it was kind of crazy. Nothing like the Cordova injury, which I remember quite well. Fun read...
from 3 months ago
Dah Someone already said it.LOSER
3 months ago
Great adds everyone. This has turned out to be a fun topic. Thanks for your participation.
3 months ago
Would Pete Rose blowing out Ray Fosse's left shoulder in the collision at the plate in the 1970 All-Star Game count? It was a meaningless game, and Fosse's promising career was never the same.
from 3 months ago
I think that one falls into the "that ain't funny" category, like players who've ended their careers in motorcycle accidents. But that's the way Pete Rose played, he didn't care if it was an exhibition, he played 100% all of the time. Of course he was probably jacked up on greenies...
3 months ago
That Cordova one is hilarious!
3 months ago
Kevin Brown punching the wall after a bad start in 2004. I thought the funniest thing about it was that he thought it was ok cause it was his non pitching hand that he broke.
from 3 months ago
I guess he forgot that he needed the other hand to catch the ball. He had enormous talent - I always heard the only thing that ever held him back was himself.
3 months ago
It's a shame many pitchers have the same self control problems as Kevin Brown did. Brown was a big part of Marlins in 97 when they won the world series and then went to the Padres where they made it to the world series but got swept by the Yankees. I also just loved his delivery, very very unique.
3 months ago
Well, Moises Alou might not have a really strange injury - but he seems to have thousands of them.
I brought this up with Chris Russo after he had talked for 30 minutes about President James garfield's doctor and I was on hold for an hour.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEP6wi3reY4
from 3 months ago
I remember Moises saying he used to piss on his hands to toughen them up. Not an injury, but amusing nonetheless.
3 months ago
How about Jeff Kent alleged injury of breaking his wrist while washing his truck.
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