CNN was salivating at the mouth like a hungry dog about to get its Kibbles & Bits with a side steak.
Barack Obama's speech was Thursday's news. On this Friday morning, Presidential nominee John McCain was about to announce his running mate.
Throughout the morning, you could see it in the faces and hear it in the voices of the reporters, who would he pick? It was as if Jesus Christ himself was about to appear in Ohio and dammit, CNN was going to be first on the story!
At one point, the network even played its fancy BREAKING NEWS graphic, bold letters flashing by the screen, not unlike the desperate promise of big money at the slot machine!
We got the same result. No payoff. As it turned out the breaking news was that the network was still waiting for an announcement from the McCain camp.
Breaking news, indeed!
Finally the moment of truth arrived and out walked the completely inexperienced, somewhat milf-ish Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska, aka Alaska's hockey mom.
Hockey mom, huh? That got me thinking. Just what are Palin's credentials when it comes to being a hockey mom?
With CNN running every little tidbit of information it could scrounge from its sources, it was discovered that Palin arrived in Ohio, late last night, by private jet.
- B/R Ticket Guide
Last time I checked, hockey moms drove minivans loaded up with equipment and excitable children, and only in the wee hours of the morning, not late at night.
Palin is from the small Alaskan town of Wasilla, a suburb of Anchorage. No matter where she's from in the state, I can safely say that never before has a professional sports league set up shop in Alaska, although it would seem a suitable choice for the NHL.
Regardless, hockey moms know their sons and daughters breathe hockey, but has she ever taken any of her five children to an NHL game?
The closest NHL city to Wasilla is Edmonton, a 1915 mile, 35-hour trek. Perhaps Mrs. Palin can address that issue to us hockey fans paying close attention to the upcoming election? Hmmm? I urge Joe Biden to bring it up when the two go head to head in a debate. Ask her if she's been following the Oilers.
I surfed on over to hockeymoms.com and discovered that hockey moms, "...serve the community of women whose children play hockey at any level. Your life is about Hockey, and also about being a Mom, partner, and woman."
All excellent points however, does Palin fit the bill? When it comes to being a mom, partner, and woman, she's got those three down pat.
But is her life about hockey? I would suggest to you, NO SIR!
She has dedicated the last couple of years of her life to serve her community and now, she will attempt to serve her country as McCain's Costello to his Abbott, Darth Vader to his Emperor, Jagr to his Lemieux.
I've never held the post, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say, there's probably a lot of paperwork involved, lots of meetings, and closed door diplomacy.
Where would she find time for hockey? The answer is, she wouldn't be able to.
Hockey mom? Maybe she was, once. Now, she's not.
If she wants to redeem herself, should she become the Vice President, she should wear a Washington Capitals jersey on inauguration day. That, my friends, would be proof she is still dedicated to the game of hockey.
(If she does don a Caps jersey, though, I wouldn't suggest putting Alexander Ovechkin's name on the back since things are a little testy with Russia these days. Can you say awkward?)
And so, with only a few short months left in this campaign, and a few short weeks until the puck drops, hockey fans will wait and see just where Palin's hockey mom priorities lie should she secure a victory.
All I can say is, I better see a couple of minivans parked outside of Number One Observatory Circle come the end of January!
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2 months ago
Well, Hockey Mom she may have been with her son.... I have 2 sons that played hockey and are grown, and I still consider my self a Hockey Mom.... we lived and breathed the sport, along with all the other facets of family life... I too agree Mini Vans should become the new mode of transport in DC
2 months ago
While I think republicans are basically unelectable until they publicly admit the South lost the Civil War, admit that enslaving human beings was a bigger issue by the end of that conflict than the federal power structure had ever been, and stop running presidential candidates who have spoken up for "States' Rights" and opposed the celebration of Martin Luther King Day, I do have a tiny correction:
There is indeed professional hockey in Alaska. The Alaska Aces of the ECHL (now simply an acronym, no longer the heinously misnamed East Coast Hockey League) helped in the development of native son Scott Gomez, now of the New York Rangers.
Does the presence of a low-level minor-league hockey team in her state make up for Palin's allegiance to a party that has ruled through racist and divisive rhetoric? Will a last-ditch window-dressing addition of a female vice presidential candidate suddenly make McCain, who even voted against trade-sanctions to end Apartheid in South Africa, look compassionate and egalitarian? We, the people, are smarter than that.
from 2 months ago
Hey Eli, Lincoln was a Republican, read a book.
from 2 months ago
Eli, The South is predominately Democrat, The republicans ended slavery and is was democrats who introduced Segregation. Do you even read history.
BTW what does having or not having a professional hockey team in your town have to do with being a hockey mom?
from 2 months ago
SATIRE! It's SATIRE people! Done to illustrate how the media tends takes every little tidbit of information and turns it in to something else entirely.
2 months ago
Eli, you have your history mixed up. Maybe you should listen to less democratic propaganda. In the 1840s and 1850s, as abolitionist idealogy gained strength and support for slavery collapsed, the democratic party transitioned from a national party to a party of the racist south. The republican party was a new party formed around the idea of abolishing slavery, with abolitionist activists at it's core.
The republicans, lead by Lincoln, fought the war against the south. After being shot dead, the mistake of picking a democrat to be vice president became clear. The democrat opposed freeing the slaves. The republicans in congress had to override his veto many times. Republicans passed the civil rights bill of 1864, 100 years before democrats were willing to agree to the terms. Even in 1964, republicans lead the way, supporting the bill with a greater percentage than democrats. Republicans passed the constitutional amendments freeing the slaves.
After the civil war, racists democrats always opposed civil rights, and many formed the nucleus of the Klu Klux Klan. At no time time has the republican party taken a racist stand on any issue. The democratic party has always been the party of racism. When the party leadership decided to soften their stand on segregation, some more racist democrats split to form the dixiecrats. As racism slowly faded in the south, republicanism gained strength. The democrat party continued it's racist stand by switching from anti-black to pro-black policies. Both are racist positions.
If John McCain has any racism in him, which I doubt, that would be a maverick position, contrary to republican ideals. Your first paragraph is nonsensical.
2 months ago
Good points, Gunnar, but this isn't the 1908 election season, and the two parties have traded sides on this issue many times. If you really missed the memo, please google "Reagan, Philadelphi Mississippi and States Rights." Then check your facts on McCain. You'll find numerous news articles to set you straight.
2 months ago
Eli, they have never traded sides on racism. The republican party has always been against it, and the democratic party has usually been for it.
You have erected a straw man in "states rights" and implying that this is synonymous with racism. Your very poor logic seems to be:
premise A: racist proponents of slavery invoked 'states rights' as a justification
premise B: states rights is a concept that can only be invoked to further a racist cause
conclusion: anyone who believes in states rights also believes in racism
This logic is obviously invalid because premise B is completely false. "States rights" is a valid and moral concept inherent in the federal system set up by the founding fathers with the constitution of 1787. The concept cannot be extended to justify slavery, because that would be a contradiction in terms. In other words, there can never be a right to violate rights. This is why the use of this argument by the proponents of slavery was wrong, and why Lincoln and the Republicans were right to go to war to stop it.
As for McCain, I have done some research, and came up with 58 reasons why people should vote against him in the primary, and although I didn't find any racism, I'm not inclined to defend him. I was responding to your obvious misinformation about the republican and democratic parties.
2 months ago
A near perfect analogy:
Prosecutor: Why did you kill the mail man?
Murderer: Because he was on my property, I have a right to my property.
A hundred years later, a man comes in to report that his car has been stolen.
Detective: Why are you reporting your car as stolen?
Man: Because it's missing, and my neighbor saw some stranger break into it and drive it away
Detective: But maybe the stranger needed to get somewhere
Man: But it's my property, I have a right to my property.
Detective: Ahh, so you're a murderer...
2 months ago
As for the main point of this article, it's not correct. I got to this article because I googled "palin hockey mom". As a hockey dad, I'm interested in that aspect of her background. Equating "hockey mom" with taking your child to an NHL game is completely ludicrous. I've never been to an NHL game, but my mother was certainly a hockey mom.
from 2 months ago
This was in the humor section for a reason. It was satirical. This woman is going to be under the glare of the media spotlight for the next several weeks, I was having some fun focusing on the hockey mom angle. Just to beat the mainstream media to the punch because you know it's going to get absurd.
Thanks for reading.
2 months ago
Oh, and perhaps the political discourse is better discussed at a political website.
2 months ago
what I want to know is whether her DAUGHTERS play hockey, or only her son? because only ONE hockey-playing child does not a "Hockey Mom" make.
from 2 months ago
An excellent point!
2 months ago
Tim, the humorous aspect is clear and well-constructed. I added political points to apologize for making a comment that I felt could be perceived as political. I will certainly not attempt to further deconstruct Gunnar's equally humorous lessons in logic, philosophy and the construction of straw men.
However, for a balanced explanation of the issue here, he and others may appreciate this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/18/opinion/18herbert.html?n=Top/Reference/Times%20Topics/People/R/Reagan,%20Ronald%20Wilson
Back to our farcical political punditry, Scott Gomez, the aforementioned Alaskan is also the first Latino player in the NHL. If Palin wants to turn this "hockey mom" debate into a strong credential as a "compassionate conservative," it's his jersey she should wear. Not that I'd advise anyone to wear a Rangers jersey in D.C. that doesn't say Ridley or Miller on the back...
2 months ago
Alison, My 5 yr old daughter is now playing mites. One hockey playing child does certainly a hockey mom make.
Eli, your link is not balanced. It lies about who passed the civil rights bill, and who was in favor of segregation. Republican deconstruction enforced a desegregated society. During this time, the entire LA legislature was black. Deconstruction ended when a rotten deal was struck to get southern support for the president. In return, the southern democrats got their racist country back. They immediately passed the Jim Crow laws that made segregation legal. G Wallace was the democrat racist most associated with resisting desegregation. Bull Connor is another prominent racist democrat closely associated with resisting desegregation.
The 64 civil rights bill was passed with the democrats voting 63% in favor, while the Republicans voted 80% in favor. A block of southern democrats led by Richard Russell launched a filibuster to prevent its passage. The racist democrat Russell said "We will resist to the bitter end any measure or any movement which would have a tendency to bring about social equality and intermingling and amalgamation of the races in our (Southern) states." Democrat from WV and former KKK grand wizard Senator Robert Byrd filibustered the bill for 14 hours, opposing the bill.
2 months ago
You should all take a history lesson from Gunnar, he is exactly right. This is all public knowledge and public record especially who supported and voted for the civil rights act. We realize most liberals want to rewrite history but that is another story. By the way, i bet Mrs Palin knows when a child has it "Human Rights" I bet it is not above her pay rate.
2 months ago
Thanks for thye various history lessons. Our Sarah is a hockey mom and more. She can do many things which I can't (maybe you can) and if old John can last six months, he'll have the best vice - (not the present kind) - president and potential successor in recent memory. Sarah is at least very bright and, as such people are, she is highly motivated. She is also sincere in her willingness to lead and serve her fellows. Both parties are in shock. The real Republicans and their right wing cousins are in joy that a real Citizen is in line for the Vice Presidency, and the Democrats are outraged that they got hot-dogged by old John.
2 months ago
Gunnar, you yourself said that the 2008 Republican party is not interested in doing anything positive for the African American community, while the 2008 Democrats are in favor of helping advance the African American community. In a country that once commercially kidnapped and enslaved African people, which do you think is the morally appropriate stance? Your defense of Republican parties from the past shows quite clearly that you know the answer. Now I hope you'll have the stones to vote like God is watching. Because He is. And no matter how fast you can change the subject, He won't be fooled.
2 months ago
I'm still wondering.....which of her kids plays hockey?
from 2 months ago
I think it was her oldest, the one shipping off to Iraq.
or maybe it's the father of Bristol's baby. He's a hockey player. Maybe she's a big fan and acts like a hockey mom at his games? Or, rather, soon-to-be hockey grand-mom.
from 2 months ago
The two oldest girls have been playing tongue hockey with some local boys. Does that count?
2 months ago
I thought they were playing chesterfield rugby ...
2 months ago
Don't worry, Sarah's vast experience in a state with nearly as many caribou as people will really help her beat those "Washington types"? I just find it funny that had Hilllary Clinton been selected as the Democratic Presidential Candidate that America wouldn't even know that Sarah Palin existed, she was a "hockey mom" five years ago, or that her daughter was so friendly....
2 months ago
I know this article's about a politician, but come on guys, really? why did this turn into a political debate on bleacher report?
from 2 months ago
Good question. I was just doing this as a satire.
2 months ago
Tim, you were actually quite prescient. Your understanding of American politics is deeper than you give yourself credit for.
Yahoo has picked up your story this morning:
http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Hockeytown-kisses-pit-bull-with-lipstick-at-Repu?urn=nhl,105497
CNN can't be too far behind.
from 2 months ago
Nice! Too bad they didn't link to Bleacher. Woulda' been some good traffic for the site!
2 months ago
You people need to get a life and back off. You take everything that she says and go on the attack. If you have a child and they play hockey, you are a hockey mom. So what if only one of her kids played. My two children played hockey starting at 4 years old, 14 years later I am still at it. I have been their team manager, and have been to almost all their games. I have never driven a mini van. Almost all the hockey moms I know drive SUV's. I have owned a Durango, a Yukon and a Suberban. My son no longer plays hockey, my daughter still plays and my kids are not fans of the NHL but they do like the Mn Gophers. Does that put me on the "NOT A HOCKEY MOM LIST"? I am a hockey mom!
from 2 months ago
Uh...D, if you had read all of the comments, this was a joke meant to show how crazy the media gets in covering stories like this.
about 1 month ago
Well, in some ways, once a hockey mom, always a hockey mom...... but certainly not with those sort of politics! Ack!
So, hop in your minivan, put on your hockey jersey, and join the conversation at Hockey Moms for Obama: http://hockeymomforobama.wordpress.com/
from about 1 month ago
Hah! Kickass!
about 1 month ago
I was offended when Palin introduced herself as a hockey mom at the republican convention. Does she really think that she will swing some votes that way? Scarey. I just made a baseball cap that I wear all the time that says "hockey mom for Obama" on the front and on the back an american flag and a whalers symbol. I am in Conneticut, single mom one son and we live and breath hockey.
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