I thought I’d continue my examination of the American Football Fan, with some specific NFL fans.
The groups listed here have distinguished themselves above other NFL fans for one reason or another and deserve their own review. While I’m surely missing some great groups of fans out there (sorry Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Green Bay, Chicago, New York) these few have gone above normal fandom or sunk below the line of rationality in doing so. Enjoy….
Oakland Raiders:
Ahhhh yes the one stadium a star-wars nerd can go to and feel at home. A never-ending Halloween extravaganza filled with every ghoul, goblin, murderer, monster, or maniac one can fathom; hell it’s even run by the crypt keeper himself.
But through all their costumes and crazy clothing these are grown men, who treat the Raiders like an entity that they must protect at all times. Attending a Raiders game is like venturing into a bad neighborhood; you better not wear the wrong colors.
Although Raiders fans generally come off as blindly-patriotic, lacking any objectivity, and down right idiotic in their expectations of the team from year to year don’t be fooled.
This is a knowledgeable bunch of fans, they just don’t give a shit about your team, and like the Russian government they will never admit a weakness even as the walls crumble around them.
Please, for the well being of yourself and those around you do not approach a Raiders fan with anything but appreciation for his team. Not only do they have a short fuse but they are almost always armed with a knife, blunt object, or some sort of prison shank they made whilst inside.
The “New” Patriots Fan:
I say “new” because this rant is directed towards all you post-Parcells era Patriots fans who had no love for this team prior to 2001. As for those that have been loyal followers before the Belicheck era, well keep on doing what you do, I have no beef with you.
If you claim to be a Patriots fan and aren’t familiar with names such as, Tony Eason, Irving Friar, Craig James, Mike Haynes, and Ben Coates (and those are relatively modern guys so there’s no excuse) or have no clue that they boasted the single gayest logo in NFL history then you fall into this category.
Yes, nearly everyone (myself included) rooted for you in 2001 because you were the sympathetic underdog team. Incredibly you beat the heavily favored Rams, marking the beginning of a dynasty for the next seven years that continues today.
Unfortunately somewhere along the way (likely sometime after Janet’s titty was exposed) you took our respect and admiration, then sharpened it, and stabbed us in the face with it.
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2 months ago
Believe it or not, not all Cowboys fans were thrilled when Jerry Jones bought the team. I have steadfastly lived with the hope and belief, that I would outlive Jerry Jones. Unfortunately, the odds of me outliving his son Stephen, are 50-50 at best.
2 months ago
Spencer......I just read your comment about Raiders fans...so true!
"This is a knowledgeable bunch of fans, they just don’t give a shit about your team, and like the Russian government they will never admit a weakness even as the walls crumble around them"
I just burst my liver laughing so hard...
But so true...the walls are down, it's just rumble now....goodbye Davis...please.
from 2 months ago
I appreciate it.
Poor Al Davis he's another example of sticking around too long.
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