Dan LeBatard: World's Biggest Jackass and Other Horrible Sports Personalities.

Andrew PargoffCorrespondent ISeptember 28, 2008

For those of you who missed Michael Phelps on the Dan LeBatard radio show last Thursday, Dan LeBatard found it possible to come off as an even bigger jackass than previously ever thought possible. If you don't recognize LeBatard in the picture above, it's probably because his foot is not being shoved in his mouth, for once.

LeBatard introduced Phelps by saying "In Beijing, Olympic God Michael Phelps became the only person to win eight Olympic gold medals in a single Olympics. Since then, he has appeared on Oprah, Saturday Night Live, and now, the pinnacle of his career, the Dan LeBatard show. He's focused on raising awareness for swimming, swim safety, for getting kids into the pool. He's created the Michael Phelps Foundation to further that cause. He's also interested in meeting as many hot girls as possible and showing them his medals. Michael Phelps with us on 790, the Ticket."

The interview got awkward almost instantly. LeBatard asked such hard hitting questions like, "Do you hate eating?" and "When was the first time you got a call from your agent and said 'holy bleep, they're offering me that much money?'" LeBatard went on to ask 5 questions about Phelps eating and whether or not it was a chore. He also asked about the MTV Video Music Awards and if he was the most famous person there.

When LeBatard asked Phelps what the coolest thing he has done since the Olympics was, Phelps responded with the creation of the Michael Phelps foundation, trying to get more and more youths involved in swimming and getting a quarter of a million dollars donated to his charity through his new Wheaties campaign. LeBatard laughingly replied saying that was nice, but that can't be the coolest thing Phelps had done. Phelps was clearly annoyed at this time, and LeBatard only furthered his cause by asking Phelps if he makes it rain Wheaties boxes in the club when he's out getting a beer with his friends. Phelps then tried unsuccessfully to hang up the phone, and he was overheard speaking to a friend calling LeBatard "a f***ing idiot" and "a joke;" both of which seem to ring true. 

This only furthers the belief, in my opinion and the opinions of others, that Dan LeBatard is a pompous jackass. He loves himself, as is so blatantly evident. He is so unsettling, and it is impossible to listen to him speak without getting a migraine headache.

Hearing this interview got me thinking about the worst sports writers and personalities in the country. So here goes it:

1. Dan LeBatard-See above.

2. Skip Bayless-Not only is Skip Bayless about as annoying as Dan LeBatard, rarely anything he ever says holds any validity. He almost has a mullet and raises his voice at all times. Skip once said if he ever got NFL kicker Jay Feely into a wrestling ring, he'd beat Feely down. He is always ranting about how he hates Terrell Owens, even though he so obviously loves talking about him. He has an interestingly large amount of man-love for Eminem, Marshall Mathers.

3. Jim Gray-You surely remember Jim Gray asking Pete Rose how he felt about not being in the MLB Hall of Fame on the night he was included in the "50 Greatest Players of the 20th Century." Pete Rose was taken aback by the question, and Jim Gray came off in a very LeBatard-esque fashion. Not sure where he got off thinking he could ask a question like that, but your guess is as good as mine.

4. Jay Mariotti-This "Around The Horn" panelist was recently dropped by the Chicago Sun-Times. He is known for being loud and brash, and also making ridiculous predictions. Back in the day, his mullet was in top form. He and Woody Paige always argue on "Around The Horn," and Marriotti always believes he's right, which actually is a rarity.

5. Jeremy Schapp-He isn't even really that annoying, he is just uninteresting and dull. His father, Dick, was an excellent writer and reporter, but I guess the gene skipped his generation. Bobby Knight said it best in an interview when he said, "You've got a long way to go to be as good as your dad, Jeremy."

6. Mike Hall-The "Dream Job" season one winner fell from grace soon after being crowned. He is now an anchor on the Big Ten network. Yeah, I don't care either.

7. Woody Paige-Woodrow reminds me of Matthew Lesko. You know, the crazy guy with the suit with question marks all over it telling you how to get free money from the government. He is always yelling and gets worked up nearly every second of the day, even when asked if he wants his combo meal King Sized at Burger King. He is legitimately crazy. I know it. You know it. Tony Reali knows it.

8. Jayson Stark-This clown thinks he should be a ESPN baseball insider just because he looks like a combination between Rafael Palmeiro and Keith Hernandez. Nothing he ever reports tends to be true, as teams leak false information just to mess with him.

9. Merril Hoge-I believe his two or so seasons in the NFL leads him to believe he is the all-knowing NFL analyst. I have about eight fewer minutes of NFL experience than Merril Hoge. He hates Vince Young, probably because Young has a job and will for years.

10. Hank Goldberg-This guy goes 1-7 every week in his ESPN NFL picks, but has somehow held onto that job for years and years. He must just flip a coin because my 72 year old grandmother has a better sense of NFL talent than this senile bastard.

11. Bill Plaschke-I cringe every time I hear his voice. He, like many others on this list, says nothing worth taking mental note of. He sucks so much, I don't feel like listing more of the millions and millions of reasons why Bill Plaschke sucks. Check out Bill Plaschke praising a giant Shaquille O'Neal statue. He isn't funny, this segment is terrible, and he needs to lose that The Sandlot-esque hat. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riQwwHN7uzM 

12. Ed Olczyk-The former NHLer is now the NHL on NBC color commentator. He has the personality of a 18 month old. He can barely put together a sentence of more than four words. Really makes Doc Emrick even more annoying.

Other Notables:

Zach Sellwyn, runner-up in season one of "Dream Job."

Stan Verrett, Sportscenter anchor.

John Clayton, ESPN Football Insider.

Jay Glazer, Fox Sports Fantasy Football Insider.

Rod Allen, Detroit Tigers Color Commentary.



War to the University of Michigan putting up a big W on Saturday. I'm out.