The Saturday Speculator: Week 6

Last week was not kind to my record.

But I will keep picking.

It’s not like this is all that difficult to do. (What is difficult is quantifying the carnage from last week; I’ll do that tally for tomorrow.

• Boise State vs. Louisiana Tech: Would’ve taken the Broncos, knowing they’re for real.
• South Florida vs. Pittsburgh: Would’ve taken the Bulls. Stupid sexy Gro-hawk.
• Utah vs. Oregon State: Would’ve taken the Utes, because it was at home. Also because Utah is a bit more clutch than USC has been since Reggie Bush’s Rose Bowl Lateral.
• Utah State vs. BYU: Why is Utah State an FBS team? Who, outside of the state of Utah, knows what their mascot is? (The Aggies, by the way.) These Cougars don’t care, but, I mean, really?
• Purdue vs. Penn State: Ooh, a road game against a conference team. As if Purdue wasn’t awful; remember, this team lost to an Oregon team helmed by something like the ghost of Akili Smith and to a Notre Dame team that no one would say is better than good. The Nittany Lions will be plumping for BCS buzz after this weekend.
• Iowa State vs. Kansas: Todd Reesing is basically a midget Chase Daniel: he would be a totally anonymous player if he didn’t lead an efficient spread attack, and he has absolutely no future in the NFL. I’m not sure that’s a great thing, but it’s enough for the Jayhawks when woeful Iowa State’s on the other sideline.
• Baylor vs. Oklahoma: It’s one thing to say you’re going to beat the number one team in the land. It’s another thing to do that as an offensive tackle, Jason Smith, when it’s your really good freshman quarterback who will feel the pain as large men run around and over you to get to him. The Sooners roll, as they will until Mizzou.
• Arkansas vs. Florida: Look, I know this is where I’m supposed to point out that Tim Tebow pounded on the podium during his post-game press conference, that the Gators are mad, that the defense played well despite turnovers, and so on, and so forth. But the most promising thing to take from last weekend is that Percy Harvin, who had something like 4,525 yards on 20 combined carries/receptions, is looking as scary as he ever has. If Florida can find a way to make him just an option rather than the option, this team could still be phenomenal on offense.
• Virginia Tech vs. Western Kentucky: I groaned inwardly when I saw this. Seriously, is there any “major” team more boring than a post-Michael Vick Virginia Tech squad? They don’t throw the ball effectively, they run a grinding offense, they rely on special teams to win a couple of games, and they’re always overrated because of an inexplicable need to accord Frank Beamer something. That said, the Hokies win this week, and that team just above could take a page or two from the playbook for winning Beamer has; it would at least mitigate spectacular flameouts.