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Can I get an Amen? The Cincinnati Bengals are starting their 2008 campaign completely defeated. At 0-5, they hold the worst record in the National Football League. This happens to be their worst start since the 2002 season, in which they started 0-7...

If the Cincinnati Bengals Played As Well As They Look, They'd Be Undefeated

by Michael Cline (Analyst)

26

463 reads

Humor

October 08, 2008

Humor, NFL, Cincinnati Bengals

Can I get an Amen?

The Cincinnati Bengals are starting their 2008 campaign completely defeated. At 0-5, they hold the worst record in the National Football League. 

This happens to be their worst start since the 2002 season, in which they started 0-7. Their first win came in their eighth game against the Houston Texans. 

Their eighth game this year happens to be against the Houston Texans.

That being said, this is a little bit too familiar for Cincinnati fans. I believe we've all become a bit numb from all the ice.

But as I sat in my recliner this past Sunday afternoon, watching the Bengals do their best against the Cowboys—as I witnessed the Cincinnati running game get completely shut down, and Chad Ocho Cinco again be a non-factor in the game—I couldn't help but to notice how great the Cincinnati Bengals look. 

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The orange helmets with the black stripes. The black jerseys and pants with complementing orange on the sleeves and down the sides.

Move over Ralph Lauren. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, get in the back seat.

If anyone needs a contract extension, it's the guy who designed the Cincy uniforms. This might be the No. 1 accomplishment for Mike Brown this decade. And you thought he was trying to sabotage the organization. 

Humor me.

The worst team in the league looks the best. 

I guess there is something to be said for "style points." Even the worst singer at the Grammy's dresses his best for the show.

If you're going to fall, at least fall in fashion.

So New England, New York, and Dallas, you can have your championships! In Cincinnati, we'll always have our cotton/poly blend.

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comments (26) write a comment »

  1. reply to comment by Thomas
    about 1 month ago

    lol! great take on your team Michael. You could say the same bout the Ravens. We have the best alternate uni in the league. if we wore that all the time we'd look good losing. =)

    my potd!

    1. by Michael
      from about 1 month ago

      Thanks Thomas. You're right the Ravens have great alt uniforms too, but I think Cincy's helmet beats Baltimore.

    2. by Thomas
      from about 1 month ago

      but all black beats orange, white, and black.

  2. reply to comment by Molly
    about 1 month ago

    Haha I love it Michael!

    1. by Michael
      from about 1 month ago

      Thanks Molly. Glad you enjoyed it!

  3. reply to comment by Miah
    about 1 month ago

    great read! u really have a great style of writing, plus lol, they sure do look good!!! ;p

    enjoyed it!

    1. by Michael
      from about 1 month ago

      ha! Thanks Miah!

  4. reply to comment by Drew
    about 1 month ago

    probably the best unis i've ever seen in any sport. if anyone has a better one, please, post a pic.

    1. by Michael
      from about 1 month ago

      I agree. Second best is the Texas Longhorns' all white.

  5. reply to comment by Dan
    about 1 month ago

    The browns dont even look good winning haha. I think they should use less brown and more orange.

    Nice read michael. They definately have some nice jerseys.

    1. by Michael
      from about 1 month ago

      Yeah, the Browns are kinda Blah.

      Thanks for the comments Dan.

  6. reply to comment by Lauren
    about 1 month ago

    They will be beat the NY Jets this week

    1. by Michael
      from about 1 month ago

      I hope you're right. We have to beat SOMEBODY, right?

    2. by Kristin
      from about 1 month ago

      lol---Come on Michael..There is NO way they are taking down the Favre Man ;)

  7. reply to comment by Joe
    about 1 month ago

    I dunno, I thought they looked better back in the ol' Ickey Shuffle days.

    1. by Michael
      from about 1 month ago

      Ha! Do you still know the Ickey Shuffle?? Those were the days.

    2. by Joe
      from about 1 month ago

      Oh yeah man, Ickey Woods, James Brooks, Rodney Holman...I remember all those guys.

  8. reply to comment by Michael
    about 1 month ago

    Ha! Do you still know the Ickey Shuffle?? Those were the days.

  9. reply to comment by Andy
    about 1 month ago

    Yeah what is up with the Cinncinati Bengals?! They have the calibur, talent and players to be good team yet they cant manage to get a single win yet! Is it possible some of the players dont want to play for the Bengals and r trying to blackmail a trade offer before the deadline?

    Come Cinncinatti!!! You can win!!!

    1. by Michael
      from about 1 month ago

      That's a possibility! That's pretty sorry, but it might be happening. It really doesn't make any sense for Cincy to be this bad.

  10. reply to comment by Lisa
    about 1 month ago

    You found a positive...now thats a good fan...and yeah, Bengals have the best unis, with Chargers in second...love those Bolts!

    1. by Michael
      from about 1 month ago

      I guess I'm a glass half full type of guy!

      I agree. The bolts are pretty cool. And the Falcons aren't to shabby either.

  11. reply to comment by J.C.
    about 1 month ago

    Truth be told, I never liked this look, but will admit it is an improvement over their original uni's.

    My taste runs more to traditional uni's with block lettering, not that fancy script numbers.

    But if you like 'em, more power to you Michael.

    Ickey Woods? Hell, I remember Virgil Carter and Chip Glass 8^D

    1. by Michael
      from about 1 month ago

      Who?

    2. by J.C.
      from about 1 month ago

      Slight mess-up, Glass was a Brown, I meant Myers - all them Chips look the same 8^D

      Carter, Virgil 1970-1973 QB Brigham Young

      Myers, Chip 1969-1976 WR Northwestern Oklahoma

      Glass, Chip 1969-73 TE Florida State

    3. by Michael
      from about 1 month ago

      Yeah, I wasn't alive then. ;)

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About the Author Michael Cline (analyst)

  • 25 articles written
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