This season, Westboro Baptist has been protesting Husker games outside Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, Neb. Their preview for Nov. 8's matchup against the Kansas Jayhawks: "Corn Hussies vs. Gay Hawks."
The church that has been protesting at soldiers' funerals and everywhere they can stick their little noses, yelling "God hates fags" and "God hates America," is now shouting "God hates Nebraska."
The reason? Westboro claims Memorial Stadium is a temple for the worship of false gods—the Cornhuskers—and a place of devilish reveling in the sins of the flesh.
"Dumb asses will be out in droves with their little red and blue/red outfits on. Puffing their little and/or sagging chests out as they drink up their 'courage' and paint up their ugly, fat faces and follow each other like good little lemmings into the stadium to sit and watch some turds in uniform wallow in the mud like the good little pigs they are. Drinking, burping and farting towards each other as part of their neanderthalesque mating rituals. A very sick scene indeed. God hates these brutes, and continues to send them on the very wide, straight path to hell." (from godhatesfags.com/schedule)
So, in light of these...shall I say...flattering observations about me and my fellow Nebraska fans, I've decided to take Westboro at their word and explore the possibility of sports as an effective religion.
I guess Saturdays would be our day of worship here in the Denomination of College Football. We wake up early to listen to our prophets (ESPN's College GameDay) declare the future and eagerly soak in all the events of the various worship services from around the country throughout the day.
Or we're out there, visiting our "Mecca" temples to see our gods in person. We're up at dawn, making our ritualistic sacrifices of cow or pig or chicken on our grills in parking lots to beg the Powers That Be to give victory to our god-heroes.
And some worshippers, when their gods consistently lose to other gods, switch congregations to a more successful group of gods and pretend to have been worshipping those new gods for their entire lives.
Ah, this is the College Football Church of Sports.
If sports is a religion, stadiums are our temples, and athletes are our gods, then I must be a monk to that religion. This is the reason for my recent name change to the moniker "SportMonk."
I'll reside here in my abbey with my big screen HDTV with the ESPN sports package and continue to study the intricacies of my religion year-round, writing what I learn so that others may follow the path to enlightenment I found.
My children, as you prepare spiritually for Saturday's day of worship, lift up your prayers to the Powers That Be for your gods—that they may have victory on the field of conquest and bring honor to your congregation.
And may the Sports be with you. Always.
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about 1 month ago
Gotta wonder sometimes about where common sense and constitutional right comes into play.
At the same time, this crackpot, you gotta wonder if he's been certified as insane or not, too.
Around here, a local yokel killed a guy, butchered him, and he's waiting on death row.
In prison, he's filing a lawsuit, because according to his religion, he should be allowed a dagger, a bowl, and several other artifacts. Never mind the fact, that this guy is a threat to him and everyone around him....where do you draw the lines?
from about 1 month ago
You know, that's an interesting point. I've talked with quite a few Husker fans up here to get their thoughts on Westboro being here. There's kind of a split it seems: Half the people are annoyed because these morons from Kansas just show up with signs intended to piss people off; the other half seem to think people like Westboro will always be around no matter what we do and just want to ignore them. Obviously their leader is a little unstable--the church operates in a bomb shelter in the middle-of-nowhere in Kansas and they say God hates every other person on earth but a member of their church.
I do agree, though, that there should be some lines crossed. There should be some laws that should be clarified, too. They, technically, have the right to picket whatever they want, but there's a certain distance they have to be from the event. I wonder if that's just from the stadium itself or if we could try to get them pushed off campus.
The most frustrating part about it is the dude's daughter is a high-powered lawyer, so if anybody does anything to the Westboro people, she bludgeons them for thousands of dollars. They seem to be untouchable.
about 1 month ago
They used to protest at my high school. However, I have some addendums to make:
1. We wake up early to listen to our prophets (ESPN's College GameDay) declare the future and eagerly soak in all the events of the various worship services from around the country throughout the day.
--Except when Lou Holtz is on, then we are busy preparing the celebratory feast of chips and salsa and many grilled sacrafices
2. Or we're out there, visiting our "Mecca" temples to see our gods in person. We're up at dawn, making our ritualistic sacrifices of cow or pig or chicken on our grills in parking lots to beg the Powers That Be to give victory to our god-heroes.
--And don't forget the spiritual drink!
3. And some worshippers, when their gods consistently lose to other gods, switch congregations to a more successful group of gods and pretend to have been worshipping those new gods for their entire lives.
--Unless you follow the denomination of USC, in which case even when they lose, you simply pretend it never happened and insist that they still deserve their top 10 ranking
You also should probably include something about the religious garb. Thou who does not wear his lucky game day shirt shall be smited by the gods of college football.
from about 1 month ago
Haha, LOVED the comments, Gail. You're right about both Lou AND the celebratory feast of chips. I don't know how I forgot them. Or how I forgot the spiritual drink, which Westboro calls "courage." And you're dead on about USC fans--followers, excuse me.
The story's been out only a few hours and already I've got some interesting feedback. I'll most likely write a follow-up and I already have an idea on a weekly I could spin out of this.
And, by the way, I'm guilty of the lucky game day shirt... I've been wearing the same Eric Crouch jersey every game day since 2001. :)
about 1 month ago
I guess they've never read this passage from Deuteronomy 19:10-12 :
Do this so that innocent blood will not be shed in your land, which the LORD your God is giving you as your inheritance, and so that you will not be guilty of bloodshed. But if a man hates his neighbor and lies in wait for him, assaults and kills him, and then flees to one of these cities, the elders of his town shall send for him, bring him back from the city, and hand him over to the avenger of blood to die.
It's people like this, Andrea Yates, and a ton of other whack-jobs that give Christianity a bad name.
from about 1 month ago
I totally agree. Aside from the joking of being a follower of sports, I'm a Christian and all the crazy stuff these people do "in the name of God" with "baptist" tacked to their church just sickens me. I have friends who won't come to a REAL baptist church with me because they're afraid they'll have to "drink the Koolaid" or go picket some sporting event. It's a real shame.
about 1 month ago
"God hates these brutes, and continues to send them on the very wide, straight path to hell." I would first like to say they do not represent all Baptists. I am one. Don't hate the sinner. Hate the sin. There are numerous verses that could prove these geniuses wrong, but I'm not wasting my breath.
from about 1 month ago
Oh, I totally agree, Micah. I'm a born-and-raised Southern Baptist who just thinks these people are nut-jobs. I'm merely mocking their message. I DEFINITELY hope no one ever takes these people seriously. If Westboro is right, I guess I'm screwed because I like sports, vote in American elections and occasionally go to a park on Sundays after church.
I was just fed up with seeing them outside Memorial Stadium week in and week out with the same stupid message. I don't hate them--I just pity them.
about 1 month ago
These are people who want to be "special" in God's eyes and they are certainly not. Yah seriously if they are right (which I can say they aren't for sure) then I am ruined lol.
from about 1 month ago
Thanks for the comments, man. And let's thank God every day that Westboro isn't right.
from about 1 month ago
True true.
about 1 month ago
Be careful what you say about the folks at Westboro. Over half of them are lawyers looking to sue anyone that looks at them funny. They say incredulously inflammatory things at people and then sue for hundreds of thousands of dollars if anyone gets in their face. Westboro isn't a religious group, it's a scam.
And I'm probably going to get sued for this post.
from about 1 month ago
Haha, if they care enough to look up my article, I hope they read it.
about 1 month ago
The religion of Sport goes beyond football, and has many churches (just about every stadium), with a few cathedrals (Fenway, Wrigley, Lambeau, MSG, ND Stadium, LA Coliseum, etc.), and the holy land (Bristol, CT).
I have heard of this group before, and they are one of the most disturbing and hateful groups in the United States. If I ever meet a group of them face-to-face, I will exercise my freedom of speech to tell them what I think about their views.
from about 1 month ago
I am a monk for the Church of College Football, but I'm thinking of joining the Church of Major League Baseball (if my Mets can finish a season).
I've thought about it. But like Chad said and like I put in the article, they've got powerful lawyers behind them so you have to be careful what you do and say around them. That's why I haven't ever gone up to them, because I knew they'd try to piss me off and make me do something stupid.
about 1 month ago
Thing I always had to chuckle at, was my American History teacher:
"In Texas, there's three religions. Catholics, Prodestants, and Football. Some small towns will have a big stadium, and on sunday, the entire town is empty, because everyone is in the stadium."
Pretty much true...would be an easy place to rob....unless someone asks you what the final score is.
from about 1 month ago
It's pretty similar in Oklahoma. We take our football seriously. Tulsa Union High School has a nicer stadium than Oklahoma State University.
about 1 month ago
Well Sportmonk ,nice name change by the way, as I began to read your article I could feel that vein in my head start to pulsate. Every time I hear about that "church" I want to scream because they are making life more difficult for those, like me, who are truly believers of God and are here to be an example. But I digress... great article and I am glad you made that comparison in a way that was not ripping religion but making your point. To many sports are a religion of sorts but that can be sad about a lot of things. Well to hopefully make a long story shorter great job and I look forward to your next piece!!
from about 1 month ago
Thank you very much! I'm also a devout Christian and I'm very disappointed in the exposure Westboro has been able to gain from all of their stupid protests. I agree that they're making life difficult.
Thanks for reading!
about 1 month ago
Thank you very much! I'm also a devout Christian and I'm very disappointed in the exposure Westboro has been able to gain from all of their stupid protests. I agree that they're making life difficult.
Thanks for reading!
about 1 month ago
If they think that's bad, they should visit South Bend for an Irish weekend.
from about 1 month ago
Haha. I should get to visit South Bend. I've always wanted to.
about 1 month ago
Almost every sport could be considered a religion.
from about 1 month ago
Oh, I agree. They all have their own congregations. I'm attending a worship service for the Church of Major League Baseball right now. Can the Red Sox come back? Who knows...
about 1 month ago
As someone who is quite religious myself, I find the behavior completely out of line.
To protest a soldiers funeral almost makes me sick to my stomach...
Thank you for opening some eyes Sportmonk.
I must go read my scriptures now [The Magazine, SI (only swimsuit edition... Its what God wants...)]
from about 1 month ago
OH, the scriptures! Very clever--why didn't I think of that?
And if sports truly is a religion, the swimsuit edition is TRULY a gift from the gods.
about 1 month ago
It's insulting to anyone of faith to call theirs a church or religion; I don't mean to imply that's what the author was doing, he obviously is disgusted by the Phelps family.
And that's what this is, his very large family and some crazies who have married into it. Check out Fall from Grace.
The daughter is not a high-powered attorney just b/c she sues everything that moves. She works for the family law firm and graduated from some podunk law school (sorry, don't mean to insult Washburn U. but...). Plus, sooner or later, she'll cross the line and get disbarred for something against moral turpitude.
Plus, the same laws that protect this joke of a cult protect us. In fact, b/c Fred Phelps and his daughter have put themselves in the public eye, we have even more latitude than they - when you say something in public about a private entity, you have to reasonably believe it's true or state an opinion, etc. Once someone becomes a public figure, you can say anything that you don't know to be false.
For instance, I don't know that Fred Phelps isn't banging his daughters and, with a reputation that bad and a family that large/close, it's not an unreasonable accusation.
So I can say that, if life were fair, that group of incestuous hatemongers would be wiped from the planet by the very groups they despise. I could write a whole article on it.
from about 1 month ago
Oh, and Phelps' daughter has an illegitimate son. Gotta love all that hate piled on top of all that hypocrisy.
from about 1 month ago
Great comments. I didn't know she wasn't a highly-educated lawyer. Someone warned me not to mess with them because I'd be sewed to hell and back and another told me she was "high-powered." Thanks for the correction!
AND I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT THE RED SOX ARE DOING. THIS IS CRAZY AWESOME.
about 1 month ago
Ah, so if this is our religion, does that mean our holy water comes in bottles that is brewed from barley and hops?
In all seriousness though, let them have their fun with that. I'll have my fun with friends inside my holy confines of Jordan-Hare Stadium.
from about 1 month ago
For real. I take very liberal doses of holy water every time I worship. In fact, I'm observing the taking of holy water right now as I watch the Red Rox possibly make the craziest comeback ever.
about 1 month ago
Hey, Washburn is a decent law school...just sayin'.
Ah, Westboro. I didn't realize they were bothering Husker Nation these days. They were kicked out of the Southern Baptist Convention a long time ago, and really shouldn't be allowed to call themselves Baptists.
A different group with similar views on football came out and picketed the first game of the 2005-06 Sooner football season. I partly blame the TCU loss on them.
In my Intro to Religious Studies class, we actually looked to see if football could be considered a religion. The major thing it is missing is a deeper meaning of life or a worldview.
from about 1 month ago
A Sooner fan! I love you guys! I was born and raised on Oklahoma City and OU is my second-favorite team.
Those Westboro people are totally silly, aren't they. I don't understand them. And I totally support your assertion that the TCU loss was because of Westboro. I blame all three Nebraska losses on Westboro this season. Haha.
I'll need to look for a deeper meaning... This blows a whole in my entire life...
from about 1 month ago
Hey, and we respect Nebraska. We really do. We don't respect Callahan, but now that he's gone, we can respect your current program again. I noticed that you mentioned Tulsa Union, so I knew you had some sort of Oklahoma ties, and I was confused. I thought we were supposed to be rivals, lol.
I just spent some time reading some of Westboro's picketing schedule, mainly because I couldn't believe they would cuss. But they did! I guess it could have been them at our game, but there were no "God Hates Fags" signs around the stadium, just "This is Wrong" signs. I wish Westboro's website had a comment box next to its blogs. I have SO much to tell them.
I don't think football will ever effect the way a person looks at what our purpose is on this earth, and that's a very good thing. But some of the other indicators of a religion are strikingly similar. By the way, I didn't major in religious studies. I needed a civ class.
about 1 month ago
I go to every home game and was not even aware those crazies were protesting. Who knows what goes through the minds of people for whom passion overpowers the rational?
Perhaps they will chose to continue to waste their time not being noticed in Lincoln.
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