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Here is the scene: Al Davis in the "Coaches Diner" drive thru in his big wing, '70s Cadillac, hanging out the window with his glasses and neck chain.....

Oakland Raiders' Al Davis Orders New Coach

by Mike Sommers (Contributor)

1

574 reads

Humor

November 12, 2008

Humor, NFL, Oakland Raiders, Al Davis

Here is the scene: Al Davis in the "Coaches Diner" drive thru in his big wing, '70s Cadillac, hanging out the window with his glasses and neck chain...

(girl on the speaker): Hello, welcome to the Coaches Diner, can I help you?

Al: (like the manager in the movie "Office Space") yyyeeeaaahhhh.... (smackin' his lips like old people do).... I would like to order......ummmmmmm yeeeahhh .... ummmmmm...

Girl: Sir can you hurry up and order your coaches, the season is getting short...

Al: DON'T RUSH ME MISSY!!..
....ummmmmmmm (scratching his head)..... how is the Coaches Deluxe meal?

Girl: (snipping back)... Uh.. It's GREAT...

Al: What comes in that?

Girl: That meal comes with a Championship head coach and two seasoned Coordinators, with a super playbook on the side......(kinda whispering) it is kinda expensive sir.....

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Al: Do they want to be paid in full??

GIRL: DUH..... OF COURSE THEY DO!!.... you have to pay for quality sir...

Al: Dam... I hate that!.... Well what do you have in a small meal... say.. just a head coach with a useless contract??

Girl: Sir???? weren't you in here two years ago and bought the Kiffin meal?

Al: (concealing his voice a bit) UH ummmmm.... no that wasn't me!!......

Girl: uhhh ok (in disbelief)

Al: (takes a deep breath).... OK I know what I want..... I would like to order the Harbaugh package.... and can you take out the power and control.... I already have plenty in the car already....

Oh and can you give me that with a small contract and a lawsuit on the side????
OH AND DON'T FORGET TO DOUBLE THE BROWN NOSING ON THAT!!!..

Girl: Is that it?

Al: ooooops i almost forgot... can you give me an order of DRAMA for my fans????

Girl: Sure can.... do you want to "Supersize" that??

Al: Just Supersize, Baby!!

Girl: OK sir, that will be $986,000.....

Al: I HAVE A COUPON!!

Girl: OK

Al: do you take food stamps?

Girl: Just pull forward!!

Girl: (to co worker) Man this old geezer comes in just about every year and buys a coaching meal.... but he always gets the half-asssed meals..... I feel sorry for him (and his fans) .... We should just give him the Coaches Deluxe Meal......

Co-worker: (in his L.T. jersey) HELL NO!!!.. Screw that old fart!!....

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