Since when do only the best 68 teams in the nation get the chance to participate in postseason play? With a whopping 34 bowl games already scheduled to hit the airwaves the next two months, why not expand the schedule to include the worst of the worst, even if it means dragging down television ratings and humiliating the teams involved?
Equal opportunity for everyone, I say.
10. The Ford Mitten State Bowl
The Teams: Eastern Michigan (2-8) vs. Michigan (3-8)
The notable sponsor and prestige of the Michigan program are more than enough to create a sufficient buzz around this matchup of northern-based conference whipping posts that will be briskly played as an informal halftime show during the Motor City Bowl, which will be played at Ford Field in Detroit.
Considering the fact that Rich Rodriguez’s horrific inaugural season put Michigan’s record bowl streak in serious jeopardy by early October, the Wolverines were a no-brainer, while bowl officials couldn’t pass up the chance to showcase Eastern Michigan’s dynamic offense in front of a hometown crowd. Through 10 games, the Eagles have scored more than 17 points just twice this season.
9. The World of Warcraft Bowl
The Teams: Alabama-Birmingham (3-7) vs. Idaho (2-9)
Mythical mascots collide in a showdown that will surely garner a strong following among fantasy-loving gamers everywhere. If WOW enthusiasts enjoy anything more than a make-believe medieval clash, it’s watching a real-life standoff from the comforts of their parents’ basements.
Played on a makeshift field on the edge of a remote forest in England, this battle between the Blazers and Vandals figures to be a three-hour chess match between the offensive coordinators of two teams that aren’t too fond of playing defense.
After losing a 70-0 heartbreaker to Arizona to open the season, Idaho has allowed nearly 40 points a game while losing seven of nine.
The fire-breathing salamanders have had defensive problems as well. In its seven losses, UAB has surrendered 30 or more points six times, including 70 to Southern Mississippi.
8. The Crayola “Colors of the Rainbow” Bowl
The Teams: Syracuse (2-8) vs. North Texas (1-9)
Marred by turmoil, both of these floundering programs can take solace in the fact that they will be participating in the bowl season’s most vibrant and aesthetically pleasing game.
With the gleaming white beaches of the Virgin Islands serving as a backdrop, both the Orange and Mean Green agree to wear some sort of solid-colored alternate uniform, resulting in a convergence of hues that is sure to make Crayola executives’ heads spin.
Head coach Greg Robinson’s tenure at Syracuse has been an absolute disaster, and anything short of a 100-point win over North Texas would force administration to begin handing out walking papers.
No such hot seat exists in Denton, Texas, where former high school coach Todd Dodge is enjoying ironclad job security, posting a 3-19 record in less than two full seasons.
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about 1 month ago
I laughed my ass off... thanks!
about 1 month ago
Most refreshing article I've seen all year.
Although it's a little depressing that half of Notre Dame's schedule was listed here.
*Sigh*
about 1 month ago
World of Warcraft Bowl. Brilliant.
Whole thing is really, really funny.
Nice work, Ryan!
about 1 month ago
Now that is funny stuff, I don't care who you pull for...
about 1 month ago
FANTASTIC! well put. Loved it.
about 1 month ago
well done pretty damn funny
about 1 month ago
I couldn't stop laughing. It's always been said that truth is stranger than fiction, to this article, I do agree. Great writing and even better imagination.
about 1 month ago
awesome, i really enjoyed it.
about 1 month ago
Great article. I think people would actually watch those games.
Kind of you to leave Army off the list.
Maybe they could play the High School McDonald's All America team... but they'd undoubtedly lose.
about 1 month ago
This is brilliant. I thought you came up with some really creative bowl games. I would list the Apple Cup, the rivalry vs Washington and Washington State, as honorable mention. It seems like a joke of a game between two teams with a combined 0 wins against FBS teams.
about 1 month ago
Very funny man. 5* POTD
about 1 month ago
Texas A&M could also contend for the “Shell of Your Former Self” Bowl
from about 1 month ago
...or the Cargill Agriculture Bowl (Aggies)!
about 1 month ago
very good stuff. but where can I get my hands on some tickets for the nbc bowl, that game would be epic lol.
about 1 month ago
Absolutely hilarious.
about 1 month ago
Still peeing myself. I'll link that to my blog.
Brilliantissimo.
Can we throw Notre Dame in there? No, they'll be in The "Every team but 1 we beat was under .500" Bowl, which hopefully they'll lose.
Can't we see them play LSU or Ohio State again? It was so much fun last time!!
about 1 month ago
I agree with Alex. And that one team was Navy, so that doesn't even count, and they only beat Navy by 6. ND sucks. Seriously, though, ROFL. 5 stars and POTD.
from about 1 month ago
they almost blew it a 27-14(i think) lead to them in the last 2 minutes!
about 1 month ago
the nbc battle of shitty note dame opponents
hilarious
salvation army bowl
COULDNT STOP LAUGHING
about 1 month ago
Thats too funny I loved the world of warcraft bowl
about 1 month ago
Well done, sir! Well done! Very creative.
To everyone's horror, the yellow Oregon uniforms somehow make an appearance in the Crayola Bowl, but not the football team of course. They're better than that.
about 1 month ago
"6. The Cargill Agriculture Bowl
The Teams: New Mexico State (3-7) vs. Utah State (2-9)"
What, no love for Texas A&M (4-7)? ;-)
about 1 month ago
I'm a Boilermaker, and I have to say that I would pay good money to see Purdue play in the "Shittiest ND Opponents" Bowl. However, I will gladly pay more money to watch Boilermaker Football next year after Joe "Sucks at Adapting to New Defenses" Tiller finally retires.
about 1 month ago
Brilliant article - the "Shittiest ND Opponents" Bowl is the best!
Rumor has it that ESPN18 (known as the "double 9" to curling fans who tune in to this channel to watch Borg Burgin sweep the Finns to international fame...) will enter into a bidding war with NBC to cover this match-up. Organizers in Palatka, Florida claim that they have a package that will attract both teams and provide for much needed additional revenue for this recession plagued small city. Sponsored events include the St. John's River "Reclaim Our Clean Water" Catfish Fry, the Palatka 2.3K walk/run (the city's not big enough for a 5K and most attendees couldn’t walk the length of a buffet line anyway), and the ever-popular Custom John Boat Races! Emergency services will be on hand...
Hey, it beats Shreveport!
about 1 month ago
Michigan might be in The Ford Mitten State Bowl in December, but first they play Ohio State.
Check out my article on THE GAME.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/83083-season-saver-only-because-um-has-nothing-to-lose/
about 1 month ago
haha, are you aware this article made SI.com's hot clicks!!???
congratulations!! It is a great creative article.
color of the rainbows...hahahaa.
about 1 month ago
Well put. This was a great idea. Now that #1 spot might actually draw some people to watch. Might even have a couple of thousand or so on hand. ***** & POTD!
about 1 month ago
Western Kentucky is probably the only team left that my Hoosiers could beat on a regular basis, so I'd be game for that bowl haha
about 1 month ago
Great stuff. I was hoping to see a "Tiddy Bowl" in there.. But I guess the The NBC “Battle of the Shitty Notre Dame Opponents” Bowl more than makes up for that one.
Loved it !!
about 1 month ago
Don't miss the Crapple Cup this Saturday: UW vs Wazzu.
about 1 month ago
Holy shit!! This is hilarious. Sadly this is the way I feel about pretty much all of the non bcs bowl games.
about 1 month ago
You forgot the "How 'bout them apples" cup where UWash and Wazzu team up to face the toughest in-state high school team just to prove their mettle.
about 1 month ago
the most creative sports writing I've read lately!!! Good job Ryan Faller!!!
13 days ago
oh this is beautiful
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