Advice For Congressmen: Stick To Nuclear Bombs and Stay Away From Hail Mary's

onezuke18Correspondent IDecember 11, 2008

Normally I think ESPN is sensationalistic crap, and normally pay absolutely no attention to their happy bear dance up in Bristol. But I was exceptionally bored this morning, so I was surfing the information highway to keep abreast on the latest sporting news from different sites.

Well I caught a wave that actually took me to and get actual news story! Well after I caught my breath from that miracle, I began reading about Republican congressman Joe Barton from Texas, and his new crusade in office. 

What highly important endeavors was he embarking on you ask? Was it the economic recession that the United States is facing? The rising unemployment rates? No, wait, I've got is the threat of war with Russia and Iran that seems to be creeping ever so closer to becoming a reality! No?...The auto crisis and failed bailout that has the American government throwing money around (that they don't have mind you), like its a game of Monopoly! That's it, it has to be it! WHAT?!?!? No? got me, what is Joe Barton concocting to help make America solid as a rock in the future?

He is in hot pursuit of making certain that you and I, the die-hard college football junkies have wanted to very badly for the longest time...a college football playoff! Everybody on your feet in applause for Congressman Barton of Texas everybody! Raise your glasses to him and give him the proper salute for being the biggest jackass in Congress today, (yesterday's winner was to the esteemed Mr.Blagojevich from Illinois).

I'd like to be the first to respectfully ask Congressman Barton to let the minimum wage, burger joint cashier, genius bloggers, like yours truly, handle the continued fight for a college football playoff. I know this is an important matter...but I think us fans can fight that battle Mr. Barton.

Furthermore, I'd greatly appreciate it Mr. Barton if you would place a little more of your attention upon border protection, economic concerns, the risk of a possible World War 3, and keeping America out of another great depression. I know that none of these pesky problems are as important as if Oklahoma and Florida are really the two best teams in College Football or not...but they still have their point of concern. If you could get on top of all of those issues for us regular joe schmo's out there, we'd appreciate it!

Okay...enough...I'm putting Captain Zuke "The Sarcastic", back in the box for the rest of this article. Down to business...

You can file the college football playoff in with the MLB steroids scandal, as events that the federal government shouldn't be concerning themselves with. These problems are problems with the BCS/NCAA, and major league baseball, and should be addressed and dealt with accordingly by those two organizations.

Maybe I'm the only one that thinks that we pay our federal government to worry about economic and national security measures. Maybe I'm in the minority that thinks that these state congressmen could better serve the people of their states by worrying about our failing school districts in desperate need of money, and the jobs in these states uprooting for Mexico, China, and India. But I'll continue my stance on that until the day I die.

I find it personally humorous that Mr. Barton is from Texas, and I'd be willing to become a gamblin man that says he's a quite pissed off Texas Longhorn fan who has a little bit more power than the rest of us to voice his displeasure. I get that, and can respect that because even though I'm a professed Buckeye honk, I thought Texas got screwed royally as well. But here's a couple of statements from Mr. Barton regarding the BCS situation:

"In some years the sport's national championship winner was left unsettled, and at least one school was left out of the many millions of dollars in revenue that accompany the title," Barton said in a statement released ahead of the bill's introduction. "Despite repeated efforts to improve the system, the controversy rages on."

Barton goes further, proposing the ban of any phrase of "National Champion" until a playoff is implemented:

"will prohibit the marketing, promotion, and advertising of a postseason game as a 'national championship' football game, unless it is the result of a playoff system. Violations of the prohibition will be treated as violations of the Federal Trade Commission Act as an unfair or deceptive act or practice."

Are you serious Congressman? Your going to bring the Federal Trade Commission Act, into the BCS??? Oh and I'm sure that the latest victim of the BCS happening to be the Texas Longhorns, and you being a homer from Texas has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with why this agenda has become so important to you Mr. Barton.

Bottom line, because just writing this piece is making me angry, get your nose out of the BCS. Let us $7.50 an hour schmucks worry about those problems, those are entertainment problems, those are trivial, and despite what we say about the BCS being a farce (which it is), no one is going to go hungry, lose their jobs, or be killed over it.

You are a CONGRESSMAN Mr. Barton, you have far more important fish on your plate to fry than whether Texas got hosed or not. And by watching CNN the past few years or so, it looks like this country needs your attention on these political, economical, and social issues a bit more than college football. Stick to Nuclear Bombs Mr. Barton, and stop worrying about football Hail Mary's.


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